This is your NEW school
by XXthirst
Summary: Jimmy and Gary are forced to work together to survive their new school,Brat-Hog Academy. New cliques,new adventures,same old crap. Takes place after "Endless Summer"
1. PROLOGE

Jimmy and Gary are forced to work together to survive Brat-Hog place after "Endless Summer",making it Jimmy's junior year.

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games.**

**I do not make money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and mild sexuality.**

**XX-THIRST**

***NOTE:I PUBLISHED THIS YESTERDAY,BUT THE SITE SEEMED TO HATE WORD PAD. I WENT AND MADE SOME EDITS.**

**...............PROLOGE..............**

"Aw,come on Lola...I gotta test in the morning...even if I suck ass at math...and didn't study for the test in the first place...".

The Greaser's leader,Johnny Vincent,was lying in his unmade,car magazine and cigarette butt ridden bed. Lola was there too,straddling his hips,begging him for a "quickie". "It's frick'in one in the morning,babe".

"Oh,but Johnny!"she said while pouting to add effect."Please?It's been three days.I have alot of...tension..".

"Damn broad!Can't you wait one more night?!".

He hated to admit it,but with Lola straddling him like that,it wasn't helping. The redhead now had her face just a hair's length from his.

"Please Johnny?"

"Oh...a'right, we have to be quick about it. I'm try'in to at least get a c minus."

That quickie turned out to be an hour long. When they finished,the two collapsed in a pile of sweat.

Lola snuggled against Johnny."Oooh Johnny...you were good...".

"Yeah,that's right. I'm the king!". He then began to sniff the air.

"Hey Lola,do you smell someth'in?".

"Huh?Oh Johnny,don't be crude!".

"No I don't mean that!It smells like....smoke...".

Lola sat up."I was smoking while we were doing it...but I put it out....at least I think i did...".

"Oh shit!The bed's on fire!". They leapt out of the bed. Both were naked and screaming.

"Eeek!Johnny!Do something!".

"I'm try'in to put it out damnet!Calm down!". He grabbed a leather jacket and began fanning it at the fire.

"What the hell?!That's my good jacket!!!What are you,stupid Johnny?!".

"You wanna die?!Then shut up!Ugh,frick'in fire!".

The flames were spreading like crazy,what with all the cigarettes,matches,and a vast array of other easily flammable materials lying about. Lola was still screaming and jumping up and down.

"No!No!I don't wanna die this way!I wanna die rich,surrounded by hot Italian male fashion models!".

"Water!I need water!".Johnny grabbed a container which he thought was his water bottle. It turned out to be gasoline that he stored in his dorm room from time to time. As soon as the liquid touched the fire,the room burst into a sea of orange and red.

"Oh screw this!Lola,we're gett'in outta here now!!!".

"But we're naked!!!".

"Damnet Lola!". He grabbed her by the hand and they fled the room.

By some miracale,someone had put up a GO BULLWORTH banner in the boy's dorm hallway,so Johnny grabbed that to cover them.

By now all the boys in the dorm were running through the halls like chickens with their heads cut off. Apparently the fire had spread to the rest of the dorm and the sprinklers weren't working.

Everyone was so scared out of their minds,no one even noticed the long trail of piss Algie had left behind.

"Armageddon has come upon us!!!!"screamed Thad,only in his underwear,who was soon followed by Gord.

"My Auqaberry sleepwear has been singed!My daddy is going to sue the fire!".

Smoke was billowing out of every room,making navigating next to impossible. Johnny was holding Lola's hand while at the same time trying to keep the banner on them. He couldn't see a damn thing and the smoke was now starting to affect him. He then heard a familiar voice.

"Johnny!A fire!". It was Peanut.

Johnny had told Peanut that whenever there was a fire,he was supposed to stand near the front door and make sure Johnny got out safely.

After stumbling through the ever thickening smoke,he finally made to the front door.

"Johnny!Glad you're ok man!". He wasn't sure weather or not Peanut noticed they weren't wearing anything but a paper banner. Either way,the second in command led the two out and to the front gate.

They turned to see the entire school was burning in a sea of flames.

Everyone was now huddled together by the front gate in the unusually cold September air. As the fire trucks finally pulledup,Lola turned to Johnny.

"Well....I guess this means you'll have more time to study for that test..".

**Wow.I really wrote my first this isn't too bad.**

**Reviews are much appreciated. :D**


	2. Chp1 A Smashing Good Date

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games.I do not make money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and mild sexuality. I****talics stand for thoughts**

**Apologies for the funny looking format. **

**-XX-THIRST-**

**...Chapter 1: A smashing good date**

It was official. Bullworth Academy was burnt to the ground at three in mourning. Rumors were going around who started the Nerds blamed the Jocks, saying that they started a bonfire and it got out of control. The Greasers blamed the Preps. They said the fire place in Harrington house hadn't been cleaned out in a million years. The Preps in turn blamed the Greasers, saying one of them probably dropped one of their cancer sticks in the garbage without putting it out. As for the Jocks, they said the Nerds started the fire because they...well...were Nerds.

Jimmy himself didn't who care who started it, though he had an inkling it was probably one of Greasers. Right now what he cared about was where he live now that the school was gone. The students and school facility had all gone to the hospital to get checked out, to make sure no one was seriously injured. The hospital was more than familiar to Jimmy. It had become like a second home since he got into fights so often. And somehow, he always ended up in room 302. Actually, he was in room 302 right now and was being checked over by a doctor.

" Other than some minor smoke inhalation, you're completely fine young man. Get some rest now son, you're going to need it after what you've been through".

As soon as the doctor left the room, Jimmy collapsed on the bed, the adrenaline from escaping the fire had worn off, now that it was 4 am. His eyes felt heavier than sand bags and his body felt like it was weighed down with cement blocks. He looked to his right to see a rather shaken up looking Johnny Vincent in a hospital gown. Before he could even ask, his eyes closed shut and his head plunked down onto the pillow.

* * *

Jimmy awoke to the sounds of ringing phones, clattering metal carts, and mindless chatter.

_' Shit...what time is it...'._

He checked the clock on the wall to his right. 11:14 am. Much later than he had been used to waking up at. He sat up, yawned, and stretched. He noticed the Greasers' leader was no longer there in the room. He was disappointed since he wanted to know why on earth he and Lola were wrapped in a paper banner. But then it hit them. Where was Zoe? Was she ok? He hopped out of the bed, left the room and made his way over to a nurse at the reception desk.

" Excuse me ma'am. Did a Zoe Taylor happen to come in last night? ".

"Hmm? Err...". She flipped through a small book with scribbled writing. She stopped at one page and scanned it down with her index finger. "Ah, yes, here we go.

She came in along with all those kids from the burned down school. Hey wait a minute...you look really familiar. Aren't you that Hopkins kid who's been emitted

here God knows how many times?".

"So? Can you just tell me where Zoe is instead of being a wise ass, Miss Tina..." he chided.

"She's down the hall in room 312...Mr James...". Jimmy snickered to himself as he walked away. Opening the door to room 312,he walked in on a women in the middle of labor.

" OOOOWWW! GIVE ME DRUGS! QUICK! "screamed the woman giving birth. Jimmy just stood there wide eyed. One of the doctors noticed him.

"What the hell? Get out of here kid! ".

"Uh...I was looking for a Zoe Taylor...guess I got the wrong room " .

The doctor yelled at Jimmy all the while helping with the labor " Damn right you do! Push! Push harder! She's in 313! Geez... stupid kids getting dumber and

dumber these days...damn punks.. well lookie here. It's a boy. Congratulations lady on giving birth to another mouth to feed ".

Jimmy left 312 irritated, but amused that the nurse had managed to trick him. He was plotting his come back as he entered 313 and found Zoe lying down with a CD player in hand , blasting heavy metal music.

"Hey Zoe". She didn't respond. "Yo...Zoe...". He walked up to her, ripped out her ear phone bud and shouted "I SAID HEY ZOE!".

"No need to shout, Jimmy. I heard you the first time".

"Then why did you-".

Zoe cut him off. "It was right at my favorite part of the song. Here, listen". She went to hand him an ear bud.

"No thanks. I don't listen to that junk ". Zoe huffed in protest.

"Junk? This is 'CHRIS', the best metal band out there. Ok, maybe not THE best, but still pretty good. Besides, this was the only CD I could save from the fire. All

my crap got burnt to a crisp! ".

"Yeah, speaking of the fire, now that the school's burned down, are you going somewhere else or staying at home? ".

"Eh, my parents told me over the phone I'm going to be transferred to the school in the next town over ".

"Damn. And I was about to ask you if I could stay at your house for awhile...".

" You've got to be kidding me, right ? Forget it ,Jimmy. My folks have twelve kids at home, no way would they take in another kid, especially some random boy ".

"Crap".

She patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, don't sweat it Jim. You'll think of something".Zoe let out a sigh. "God, I'm the mood to smash some shit. You wanna join

me? ".

"Sure. But what-".

"Come on, follow me. There's a huge junk yard behind the hospital. Lots of shit back there to smash ".

She lifted the window next to her bed and squeezed through and Jimmy soon followed. They landed on the rather aged fire escape. It swayed and creaked with every step, making Jimmy feel like he was going to fall to his death. Zoe stopped at where the escape had rusted off long ago, which was pretty high up from the ground. She jumped down and turned her head up to Jimmy.

"What are you waiting for? Jump".

" A little high don't you think? ".

"Don't be a wuss. I'll catch you if you want ". Her voice had a hint of sarcasm .

"That's fine Zoe. I don't need help jumping thank you ". He jumped and landed with a loud thud. He thankfully landed on his feet, but the wind was knocked out of him . He stumbled about while trying to catch his breath.

"Uh Jimmy...are you sure you're-".

"I'm!...fine!" he gasped. It took a few moments for him recover.

"Are you done yet?".

"Yeah...sure. Now, we were gonna smash some stuff right? ".

Jimmy looked around eyeing the massive amount of junk .

"Ok Jimmy. Whoever's the first to smash all the stuff on their side of the lot wins. Heh, bring back memories of our first date?". She pulled out a stop watch .

"You carry a stop watch on you?".

"Yeah , I hocked it. Anyway, we have two minutes. Ready? Set? Go!".

With that, the two began smashing everything in sight. Before long, only bits of wood, scraps of metal, shards of glass, and dust remained. Zoe took out her

stop-watch.

"Crap ,it's a tie and 15 seconds to spare".

Jimmy then found an untouched plank of wood and broke it in two.

"I win".

They both smirked at each other.

"Heh, quite cleaver Jimmy. Damn, I'm really going to miss smashing shit with you. Meh, maybe I'le shoot a letter your way ".

She patted on him on the back and walked over to the fire escape. For a skinny girl in heavy boots, she could jump at a pretty good height and managed to pull herself back onto the escape. She leaned over the edge, extending her hand.

"Give me your hand Jimmy. You know you can't jump". Jimmy grumbled. He hated being short.

* * *

The two climbed back into the hospital through the window. Before either one of them could say anything, a monstrously large group of 12 screaming children came running into the room. They all bore bright red hair.

"ZOE!". The children were soon followed by two red-headed adults. Jimmy assumed this must have been her family. As he left the room, he couldn't help but be just be a little jealous.

_' Why can't I have a family like that? Ok, I wouldn't want that many siblings, but I wish Mom and I were that close...'._

He decided to go back to room 302. On his way, he spied Gord tightly hugging a middle aged man and women, sobbing dramatically and choking on every word.

" Oh father! Mother! It was just awful! The fire! It destroyed all of my expensive Auqaberry clothes! Then I had to stay in this hospital with these lowly

peasants! ".

Mr. Vendome patted his son on the head. "There, there boy". He then glared at his wife. "You idiot! I told you it was a horrible idea to send him to a school where

poor people also attended! ".

Mrs. Vendome said nothing, she only looked to the ground. Jimmy was glad that his mom wasn't this passive. As he returned to his hospital room, he was met by Dr. Crabblesnitch.

"Ah, James. I was just looking for you".

"Really? For what? ".

"Well, it seems I haven't been able to contact your mother. She still appears to be on her honeymoon. So in this case, I have made arrangements to send you to

another school. Now, it's not as good as Bullworth, but I can assure you, this is an excellent academy and they are more than delighted to take you in ,Hopkins". Jimmy stared at the floor for a second, then looked up at Crabblesnitch.

" You...really couldn't get a hold of my mom? ".

The older man shook his head. "I'm afraid not. But not to worry James, I will make every attempt to contact her ". There was an awkward silence. The two males shuffled their feet. Crabblesnitch finally spoke.

" Well ,James. The school is a few towns over, you should pack your things and I will drive you there ".

"Yeah, all my stuff was burnt in the fire. All I have are the clothes I'm wearing now. Any suggestions ? ".

"Yes, well, once you arrive, you will be given a school uniform and a small amount of spending money ".

_' Great. Again with the uniforms ' . _

"Well now, since you don't have anything to pack, I guess we'll be leaving ..." .

"Wait! I have...er...something to take care of...". He made his way to the reception desk. He noticed that Miss Tina was at the other side of the room, chattering with the other nurses, leaving the desk unattended.

_' Perfect...' ._

He rummaged through the desk drawers and found a thumb-tack. He ever so carefully placed it on her chair, then hid in a trash can near by. Miss Tina made her way over, only to sit on that tack. She let out a wail and just her luck, the loud speaker was on, so the whole hospital heard. All Jimmy could do was laugh.

" What the f...damn it, I'm going to kill that Hopkins punk! ". She ran off to who knows where. Jimmy emerged from the trash can, making his way back to Crabblesnitch.

"Have you finished with your business , James? " asked the headmaster.

"Yep . Everything taken care of " said Jimmy, picking bits of paper from his clothes. He was pretty sure Crabblesnitch knew what he had been up to. None the less, he had gotten back at the dumb nurse.

* * *

It was no surprise that the headmaster's car was as ugly and outdated as his clothing. A 1981 dingy brown cadillac. Jimmy's nose wrinkled as he opened the car door.

" Eeew man ".

"Is there a problem Hopkins?".

"When was the last time you aired this thing out? The stone age? ".

"Well, now, James, if you have a problem with the vehicle , would you rather walk?".

Jimmy held his nose with one hand and put on the seat belt with the other. As Crabblesnitch drove, he blabbed on and on about his good old days at Bullworth. Jimmy couldn't care less, even if he could tell the man was sadden by the loss of the school. He was glad to get away from that hell hole full of psychos, but he wondered. What would this new school be like? Even so, no matter what, he would do as he had always done. Anyone who messes with you, they should get what they deserve. He was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't even notice when the car stopped outside of a large pair of green iron gates.

"Ah, here we Hopkins. Brat-Hog Academy. Isn't it magnificent ? ".

Jimmy wouldn't exactly call it that. The academy in question looked like one of those creepy haunted castles straight out of an old movie. Though, he had to admit, it looked far better than the egg and graffiti covered Bullworth. He got out from the crappy car and walked over to the driver's side.

" Now James, do try to be on your best behaviour here. I had to pull quite a few strings to get you into this school ".

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Yes Mommy" he replied in a squeaky voice.

" Hopkins, you are to make your way to the main building and into the boys dorm. I wish you the best of luck. Take care ".

The ancient Cadillac sped away. Jimmy turned to the gate and noticed the school logo. A rather disgruntled looking pig with a riding crop wearing a plaid vest. He also found it odd that he didn't see a single student or really anyone on campus . The howling autumn wind only made the atmosphere creepier. He was glad once he made it inside the main building. All he really wanted to do was sleep now. But he couldn't help but notice the rather fancy surroundings of the place. Pale green wallpaper with gold edging. Elaborate oil paintings and sculptures were abundant through out not only the main room, but the hallways as well. Bullworth was starting to look pretty shitty in comparison.

_' And parents paid good money to send their kids to that shit-hole. Boy, they got ripped off _'. After what seemed like hours of wandering, he found the boys the dorm. The door leading to it was tucked away in a small hallway. He saw the door open to one particular room, with a uniform laid out ever so neatly across the bed. It had to be his. He then heard footsteps behind him. He turned around to see who it was, not interested in making friends, but rather to find out who was who and who's ass he should kick.

It was Gary Smith. " Hopkins! Well, well, this is a most interesting turn of events...".

**Long chapter this time. Hopefully it isn't too badly written. ****-XX-THIRST**

*** UPDATE 10/03/2013 : Fixed a few more errors, such as layout and spellings mistakes*  
**


	3. Chp2 A School Far Worse

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and mild sexuality. This chapter contains drug references .**

**-XX-THIRST-**

**(words in italics stand for thoughts)**

**...Chapter 2: A School Far Worse**

All Jimmy could do was stand with his mouth hanging open. Here he was, Gary Smith, actually standing right in front of him.

" If you stare like that for too long, your face will stay that way, you know ".

"Wh...wha…what the hell are you doing here ?! ". Gary chuckled at Jimmy's stunned expression.

"I think I should be the one asking that " .

Jimmy finally regained his composure. " Bullworth burned to the ground last night. The whole school's gone. Toast. Now I'm stuck here until it's rebuilt ".

Gary stood silent. Then he threw his hands upon Jimmy's shoulders . He was grinning from ear to ear.

" Jimmy, you have just made my day! Ha! So it's really gone! So tell me, how did that shit hole go up in flames? ".

" No one really knows, but there was a rumor going around that the Greasers had something to do with it ".

Gary rubbed his chin. " Hmm, sounds like the greaseballs M.O ".

" Ok, Gary, so what's your story? ".

Gary folded his arms and his lips curled into a smug smile. " Ah , James, after being brought... sorry, DRAGGED to Happy Volts, medicated up the wazoo and

receiving endless hours of group therapy , hypnotherapy and group hypnotherapy, they dumped my ass here because no other school can handle a lovely guy

like myself. And that's my damn story. Now that you're here too, my old friend-".

Jimmy cut him off. " We're not friends. Especially after that psycho crap you pulled last time " he said with a menacing glare. "Oh. And if you ever say ANYTHING

about my mom again, I'll hang you by your balls. Got it ? ".

Gary put his hands up in a defensive position. " Hey, easy there , Hopkins . That wasn't me, that was the medication talking ".

" You weren't on your medication ".

Gary rolled his eyes and sighed. " Whatever. That was in the past. How about we start over. Shake on it? ".

He extended his hand, only for Jimmy to walk right by, completely ignoring him.

" I need to hit the sack. Screw off Gary ".

" Whatever Jimmy. But I'll tell you this. You've just stepped into a school far worse than Bullworth and here, you're going to need friends like me to help you

survive ". Jimmy slammed his dorm room door in his face.

_' What a phony . If he thinks I'll become his good ole pal, he clearly has his head up his ass ' _.

He then examined his new uniform laid out on his bed. A dark green plaid vest, a white long sleeved dress shirt, tan slacks, and black dress shoes. Tossing the clothes aside, he flopped onto the bed. He couldn't help but sigh as he lay down , considering how comfortable the bed was.

_' Worse than Bullworth? Could there really be such a thing? Nah... '_ . He dosed off into a deep slumber.

* * *

" HEY! SLEEPY HEAD HOPKINS ! GET UP! ".

Jimmy was rudely awoken to the jarring sound of Gary's voice. He snorted in confusion .

" Wha...?...ugh...the hell are you...? ".

The taller boy was practically hovering over him. " It's 6 am Hopkins, wakey wakey ".

Jimmy slowly rose his head. Pillow imprints were embedded in his face. "Aw, ugh, you've gotta be kidding me. Six ? What time do classes start? ".

" 8 o clock sharp. So you better hurry your ass up if you want breakfast ".

He motioned for Gary to leave the room so he could get dressed. He didn't tuck in the dress shirt, rolled up the sleeves, and didn't button the top button of his vest, giving him his usual sloppy look . Upon emerging from his dorm room, he spotted Gary standing near the exit with his arms crossed.

" Finish getting dolled up , Jimmy? " .

" Shut up Gary. You're a dumb ass ".

" Really...is that the best insult you can come up with ? ". Before Jimmy could respond, Gary pulled a small, strawberry-blonde, green eyed boy to his side.

" I must introduce you to the femme-boy of Brat-Hog Academy. Meet Simon Perry . The girliest of boys, imported all the way from London ".

The smaller boy pushed away. " Will you please stop calling me names ? It quite rude you know ".

Gary shrugged. "Why not? If the name fits, wear it ". Simon rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Jimmy.

" You must be Jimmy Hopkins. Though I must say, you are considerably less chubby than Gary described you. And may I also ask if you really did get a tattoo of

this Crabblesnitch fellow on your backside? ".

" Gary, what the hell have you been telling him? ".

Gary's eyes rolled upward. "Oh, I may have exaggerated a few details about your appearance...".

" Is it true you're really a 25 year old ex-convict posing as a high school student? ".

Jimmy was irritated now." Look you two. Leave me the hell alone before I do something you'll regret ".

He walked past the two and out of the boys dorm, all the while ignoring Gary's mocking tone.

" There goes big tough Jimmy. Ooooh, we should be REALLY scared ".

Jimmy, after wandering about for sometime, eventually found the cafeteria. He looked around trying to find an empty table for himself. From the looks of things, cliques were quite abundant in this school. He was relieved to find one in the courner,but this relief was short lived, for he soon felt an all too familiar hand on his shoulder.

" Enjoying the view Jimmy? Ahh, so many species in Brat-Hog's animal kingdom ".

Simon peeked his head out from behind Gary and chimed in " Yes, the student body here is quite the colorful crowd ".

Jimmy turned to face the two boys. " Can't you guys leave me alone for one second ? Why do you need to be in my space all the time? ".

Gary started laughing. "Oooh, I see. Someone's PMS-ing today. Simon, why don't you give Jimmy here one of your tampons? ".

" Gary, I swear-". Gary raised a hand to the now red faced Jimmy.

" Relax man. Now if you will turn around, I'll introduce you to the cliques that Brat-Hog Academy has to offer ".

He spun Jimmy by the shoulders, forcing him face to a table occupied by nerdy looking boys ( and one very ugly girl ) in maroon plaid vests, tan slacks and penny loafers.

" Here Jimmy, we have Brat-Hog's equivalent of the Nerds, only these guys call themselves the Geeks. They think it makes them sound cooler. ".He spun him

again to face another table. Here were kids dressed in plaid tye-dye shirts and bell bottoms, which looked horrendous to say the least.

" Meet the Hippies. They're all about living a 'down to earth' lifestyle, but most of them are f-ing loaded ".

" Hypocrites " Jimmy responded. Gary nodded his head.

"And God forbid, they'll go ape shit if they spot you with a hamburger ". Jimmy then noticed a group of homely looking girls in plaid flannel shirts and ripped jeans.

" Those Hopkins are the Tough Girls. They fight like shit, but they take full advantage of the 'No Hitting Girls' policy. They're probably a bunch of lezbos too ".

Jimmy scoffed. " I'm not scared of a bunch of girls ".

" Yeah, well you'd better watch your balls .They REALLY love groin kicks ". Suddenly, a huge kid in plaid overalls ploughed through them, knocking Jimmy and Gary into the walls.

" Who the hell was that guy? ".

" That's Billy, he's the leader of the Farm Kids. They're all here because they're the middle child in a family of 28. Parents breed like rabbits ".

Simon, pointing his index finger upwards, joined in the conversation. " They're pretty strong blokes, I wouldn't mess with them right away " . Jimmy turned to see a rather strange looking group of kids. They were all deathly pale ( with the exception of the brownskinned boy ), wore long black leather trench coats, black platform boots and their eyes were caked with black liner.

" Let me guess Gary. Those are...".

Gary sighed " Yep. The Goths. All mellow-dramatic, covered in truck loads of make-up, and have a 'gothic' attitude. They're THE most territorial clique at the

school. Look, I'll show you. Femme-boy 2, go over and talk to the Goths ". He pushed the small boy forward with great force, causing Simon to stumble. They watched as Simon attempted to greet the Goths, only to have them glare and then mouth off obscenities at him. Gary couldn't help but giggle at the shocked look on Simon's face as he came back.

" My God! What dirty mouths! Can you believe they told me to - ".

" Yeah, yeah, shut up Simon. Anyway, see what I mean Jimmy? They won't even let you near them if you don't walk, talk, dress, and act like them. Also, their

leader is a mean S.O.B and the oldest kid here. I wouldn't mess with his ex-girlfriend either. She's kind of... off ".

The Goths suddenly then turned and glared at a table of guys in dirty jeans, ripped plaid t-shirts, and grungy plaid bandanas on their foreheads, so far being the only clique sporting head wear.

" Oh, yes, here we see one of the many clique rivalries at this school. Those are the Metal Heads, they're the Goths rivals because both cliques think that they're

more rebellious than the other ".

" They look more retards than rebels ".

This brought a smile to Gary's face. " Well, well, Hopkins has a brain after all ". Jimmy ignored his comment. He instead focused on analysing this clique.

" I'll assume these guys blast their ear drums out with heavy metal music all day and stone themselves stupid all night ".

Gary agreed, nodding his head. " Right you are. I wouldn't accept any joints from them though. They don't have a very good stash ".

" You mean you actually smoked that stuff ? ".

" Oh come on Jimmy! Don't be a prude. It's not like it messes with my meds...at least not too much ". Simon couldn't resist adding in his two cents.

" I've told Gary many times to not to take those narcotics! But will he listen ? No! First he tells me you two used to get high off of paint fumes and gym socks,

now he's smoking marijuana ! ".

Jimmy had had it up to here by now with Gary's incisive berating, constant lying, pretending to sound like an intellectual, and just over all being a pain in the ass.

"Gary, why the hell do you tell him these things? You know it just makes him sound like an idiot ".

Gary laughed while Simon stood wide eyed.

"I...I..I do not sound an idiot! ". His voiced squeaked at the end, making Gary laugh even harder.

"O h my God! Simon! Ha, Ha, Ha! Do you know how retarded you sound ? ".

He put his hand on Simon's shoulder to keep himself from falling over from laughter. Jimmy simply stood staring, but had a hard time keeping a straight face himself. Never the less, he wanted to get back to the subject of the cliques.

" Uh...Gary...are there anymore cliques? ".

Gary straightened, sighing as he wiped a tear from his face. " Oh...right. Well, yes, there is one more clique. The Jocks. The Jocks here are the toughest clique

and will kill you if you get any where near them. But put all their brains together and you'd have a box of rocks ".

He pointed towards a group of oversized boys in football and basket-ball jerseys , who were watching one of them smash a soda can on his forehead and cheering.

" Well, there you have it Jimmy. That's all the cliques. Oh, by the way, a word of warning. The principal is more psycho and menacing than all the students here

combined ".

Jimmy huffed and folded his arms ." What's he going to do to me? " he scoffed .

" She ".

" Okay, what's she going to do to me? ".

" I'll let you find that out on your own Hopkins ".

Simon began pointing franticly towards the left back corner of the cafeteria.

" Look! There's an empty table! We can all eat together! ". He was squealing loudly, which made nearly half of the students stare in their direction. Gary and Jimmy groaned.

_' What a doofus . This guy is going to get us killed '. _He was pretty sure Gary was thinking the same. The two ran ahead of Simon to get their food trays. Jimmy couldn't believe his eyes. He had almost forgotten what real food looked like after a year spent surviving off of bruised apples, mushy bananas , and beam cola. As for Edna's cooking...he didn't even consider it edible. He immediately went for the peanut butter and banana sandwiches , his favorite. There was quite a bit of food, so much so he had a tough time choosing other items to eat.

Gary leaned over saying " Pick something stupid! It's 7:15 already! I'm not having any trouble picking stuff ".

What seemed was Gary's definition of picking food out was taking a bite out of something, then putting it back. He was also sneaking food into his pants pockets. Eventually Jimmy chose a brownie and a bottle of orange juice. He wasn't sure exactly what Gary had on his tray though. It looked as if he had smashed a bunch of food into one pile on a plate.

" Uh...Gary. What the hell is that ? ".

" This is how I always eat my breakfast. Instead of having to eat each piece of food one by one, I just lump it into one pile to save time ".

" You're a nut ".

" I'm just practical ". They walked to the table where Simon was seated, his tray holding salad, water, and fish sticks. He sat there with a huge smile.

" I'm just thrilled to have you two eating with me. Say Jimmy, I thought you ate rusty nails and woodchips for breakfast ".

"Let me guess, Gary told you, right?". Simon hunched over with intimidation . Jimmy decided to let it go and eat his sandwich . As he reached for his breakfast,

Gary's hand grabbed his wrist with a firm grip.

" Hey! We pray before we eat, Hopkins! Were you raised in a barn or something? ". He gave Gary a confused look.

" Since when do you pray? ". Gary ignored his question as he snatched Simon's hand.

" Now, everyone bow their heads and close their eyes." He was silent for a moment. Then he began the prayer in the most dramatic of voices.

" Dear gracious Lord, thank you for this bountiful food for which we are about to receive that You have provided for us this morning. Please forgive us of our sins,

Jimmy for being a delinquent and mentally retarded...".

" Excuse Me ?! ".

" Simon for having his period constantly...".

" Pardon? ".

" And me, for just being so damn intelligent and good looking ". Simon and Jimmy rolled their eyes and groaned. " Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen. Let's eat,

I'm starving as shit! ".

" Nice finish...But I never remember you ever praying Gary " he said as Gary poured a bunch of pills onto his food pile.

" Eh, it was just for kicks ". Jimmy had an inkling it was just another way for him throw around insults.

_'Hmf. Asshole. Screw him. I'm just going to enjoy my food '. _Before he could even raise the sandwich to his mouth, a German accented voice blared over the load speaker.

" Vill Herr Hopkins please report to zee prince-zee-bull's office on zee third floor ". The whole cafeteria was dead silent. All eyes were on Jimmy.

_'Just great '._

**I think used the word 'food' more times in this chapter than I ever have in my lifetime. Now, why the name Simon? I**

** just happen to like it. **

**-XX-THIRST-**

*** UPDATED 10/03/2013 : Fixed the layout and a few other mistakes.  
**


	4. Chp3 Making Enemies and Allies

**Welcome to your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make**

**money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. **

**(words in italics stand for thoughts)**

**My apologies for the long wait. Various computer problems -XX-THIRST**

**...Chapter 3: Making Enemies and Allies**

" Well Jimmy ,time for you to meet Brat-Hog's head mistress . She's...quite the character " Gary mumbled .

Jimmy gave him a confused look.

" What's that supposed to mean ? " .

" Don't say I didn't warn you ". Jimmy walked out of the cafeteria , into the main hall , and down a long hallway lined with the most exquisite of paintings and sculptures, most being of anthropomorphic boars. He couldn't help but wonder if Gary was just pulling his leg, lying about Brat-Hog being worse than Bullworth . Maybe he planned to get him in trouble and expelled .

_' Aw crap ,I hang around Gary for five minutes and now I'm __already paranoid as him!'._

After what seemed like an eternity of wandering through corridors , he came to a large pair of dark green marble doors with **HEAD MISSTRES BRUNHILDA D. WHIPENHOFFEN** engraved on a plaque above them. Upon opening the doors ,they emitted a deafening screech that could wake the dead and worse still they let out a loud bang upon closing. Before Jimmy sat a rather spindly and nerdy looking man, possibly in his thirties, behind a green marble desk typing away on his computer. He was apparently very into his work for he hadn't noticed the noisy doors. That or he had grown a tolerance to the sound.

" Excuse me Mr...uh..". He looked for a name plate. Spotting one on the desk, but barely able to read it because of the cursive letter font, he went with his best guess. " Smallweener ?...".

The man looked up from the computer, the monitor clearly visible in his oversized specs .

" Pronounced 'Swellwinner', thank you.

And I'm assuming you are the transfer student, Hopkins, right? " . Jimmy held in a laugh upon hearing the man's goofy nasal voice.

" Yep ".

" That would be 'yes sir' young man ".

" Yes sir ".

" Better. Well now, right this way ".

He led Jimmy to the back of the room and through a door that thankfully didn't screech. Here sitting behind a black desk in this room was a women of about forty-ish, fair skin, dark brown eyes and hair and small mole on the left side of her full red lips. She motioned for Jimmy to sit and for Swellwinner to leave.

" Guten Morgen Herr Hopkins. I do hope everything so far at zee academy ist to your liking, ya? ".

Jimmy felt uneasy. Her demeanour seemed too kind and sweet.

"Ah ,here , let's have a look at your record, ya? Hmmmm...fighting, bullying ,vandelistm, arson, theft, foul language, harassing young fräuleins ...tsk, tsk... zist ist most troubling Herr Hopkins. Zist ist a school for respectable kinderlein ".

Standing up from her seat, Brunhilda was far taller and buff than she looked sitting down and to top it off, she wore a black latex body suit .

"What the-? Woah !" said Jimmy jumping out of his seat. He hadn't noticed before, but the walls were lined from floor to ceiling with all kinds of weaponry from maces and chains to swords and spears. The head mistress pull from her desk drawer not only a black military cap and mask , but also a leather bull whip.

" Oh crap...no freaking way...you're a-".

" Ya Herr Hopkins. A Domina . And it's my duty to rid you of your trouble making habits. You need my 'spezcial treatment ' ".

He stepped back wondering how the hell we was going to get out of there.

"Hey, hey... take it easy man...things don't need to get crazy-". With one fell swoop of her leg, she brought her foot down with a heavy slam onto the desk, revealing spiky high heeled boots.

" **Die Strafe ****wird nicht ausbleiben Herr Hopkins!** ".

* * *

" Holy-! ". **CRACK!** Her whip slammed into the floor, mere inches from his feet making him jump. " What the hell are you doing? ".

" Zist ist zee punishment for naughty buben, ya? " .

Another lash from her whip narrowly missed Jimmy's face.

" Ahh! What the hell kind of principle are you ? ".

He dodged another lash, this time it hit a large floor vase.

" Look vut you made me do, break my favorite vase, ya . Zist means your vipping session ist extended by three minutes ". She showed him no mercy as she chased Jimmy around the room, each crack from her whip more and more fierce . Five minutes of torture passed and already Jimmy was exhausted, but Brunhilda however was not. She towered over him, eager to continue.

" Done already? I thought you ver tough, ya, Herr Hopkins ".

_' Crap! Stupid pyscho ass nut job! What the hell am I gonna do? Wait a minute... '. _

He hoped his plan would work. He stood firmly in front of her, arms extended , palms up and a tough guy sneer upon his face.

" Okay then, go ahead, whip me ".

A long silence passed. The expression Brunhilda wore was a clear indication of surprise and unexpectedness.

" Hmf. Zist ist no fun when you don't resist ". She walked back to her desk, which made Jimmy breathe a sigh of relief. Sitting back in her chair, her pout turned into a smile, then a chuckle, then a loud and long laugh.

" Oh,ho,ho,ho! Ah, such a clever boy you are, ya. My, my, you remind me of my younger yearist back in Munich ". She leaned back her chair and rested her long legs up on the desk.

" I think you vill fit right in here Herr Hopkins. Of course, you vill have to obey zee rules, othervise you vill receive 'special treatment '. And I should inform you

that I have assigned you a student to monitor. His name is Gary Smitst . I was told by Herr Crabblesnitch that- ".

" Wait, wait. You want to keep watch over Gary?! No way in hell! ".

She rapped the desk hard with the handle of her whip.

" **YOU VILL NOT INTERUPT THE HEAD MISTTRESST!** ".

She had the look of a crazy woman. Jimmy shut his mouth immediately and took a seat.

" As I vas saying...I heard from Herr Crabblesnitch that zist Herr Smist is somevat unstable. Vee have him on medication now, but he needs someone to monitor him at all times. You know, to make sure he does not get out of control ".

" You want me to be with him ALL the time? 24/7? Even in the bathroom? ".

" Ya . Of course . Closely monitor him and report anything odd directly to me. Vee are clear,ya? ".

" Yeah...I mean yes ma'am ".

She smiled a bit. "Ah, gut, vee learn quickly. Distmist ".

Just as he reached the door...CRACK!

"Ow! What the-? ".

He spun around to face female tyrant . She chuckled.

" I just had to get van vip in,ya". He left the room rubbing his rear end that now stung.

* * *

Returning to the cafeteria, Jimmy found Gary still tormenting Simon.

" Hey Simon, I decided to be nice and bring you some chocolate. You know, since you got your dot and everything ...".

The smaller boy glared at Gary with his fists clenched.

"Oh knock it off. You're so mean ".

"Oooh, oh no, you're sooooo mean Gary " said Gary in a squeaky ,whiney version of Simon's voice. " I'm just so fragile at this time of month. I could cry right

now ".

" Well, I see you guys are still getting along. Hey! My food's gone! Who the hell ate it? ".

Taking a sip of his orange juice, Gary nonchalantly stated " Simon ate it ".

The British boy gasped " I most certainly did not! I wouldn't think of- ".

" You lying little sneak! " shouted Gary, his face an inch from Simon's. " I saw you steal it! You dumb piece of sh- ".

Jimmy intervened , standing between the two.

" Alright, alright, calm down .I'm just gonna get myself more food . Don't freak out man ". He grumbled as he went to grab a tray.

_' Great, I'm stuck baby-sitting this idiot for a whole year '_.

**CRASH!** He slammed into another student, both their trays flying into the air along with vinegar dressing, eggs and lettuce leaves . After being dazed for a second, Jimmy helped the other kid up off the floor. This boy was lanky with the face of a pepperoni pizza, glasses with frames the size of a NASA telescope, the buck teeth of a rabbit, and a greasy mop of chestnut curls on his head . Looking at his maroon plaid vest, it was obvious this was one of the Geeks.

" Oh! M ..m .. my apologies . I didn't see you, I was a bit distracted. Oh say, aren't you the new student from the school that burned down ?" said the young man as he adjusted his oversized glasses.

" Word travels fast around here I see ".

" Greetings! I'm Leo Finklestien! I'm glad to welcome you to Brat-Hog! ".

Before Leo could extend his hand for a shake, a taller boy behind him roughly yanked at his shoulder . He was wearing the same vest and from his commanding tone, Jimmy assumed this must have been the clique's leader .

" Leo! Didn't I tell you not to associate with neanderthals and other lower life forms ? ".

" Hey ,what the hell did you call me pointdexter? " Jimmy yelled .

" Pointdexter? Ha! Your faineant and juvenile insults don't phase me . Unlike the rest of my clique, who are the very essence of nerdiness, I have far surpassed

them, and certainly you , in the field of intelligence, my duncical friend " to which the pompous sounding boy, now standing over Jimmy, sneered and poked him in the chest .

" Notice something? Of course you didn't, you boorish imbecile . See that I'm wearing contacts instead of glasses? That makes me far superior than my fellow

Geeks, who must wear those horrendous spectacles ". Jimmy groaned. Clearly this idiot loved the sound of his own voice.

" Yeah, I did notice. And I don't give a shit ".

" Typical. Only a moron would resort to profanities ". This fight had caught the attention of the whole cafeteria. All were silent and awaiting the two boys' next course of action . Jimmy broke the silence with a small laugh.

"Heh. Only a moron would throw big words around to make himself sound smarter than he actually is ". The other boy was stunned, with his jaw practically on the floor. His pasty, pimply face ,bearing sticky fruit punch in his mustache, was now a bight crimson. All the while , Leo was tugging at his shirt sleeve.

" Um, Lionel...I think we better head back to our-". He was shoved hard, at least hard for a skinny nerd, and stumbled back, falling to the floor.

" Do you treat all your friends like this? ". All Jimmy really wanted to do was to get back to his breakfast, but this asshole was getting on his last nerve.

" They're not my companions, you moronic pion! They are my loyal subjects! My followers! ".

"What the hell? Wow. Looks like your ego is bigger than that zit on your nose ". Lionel lunged for him, his skinny fingers reaching for Jimmy's throat.

* * *

They both tumbled to the ground and were now wrestling . The cafeteria erupted into pandemonium with everyone cheering on the fighting guys.

" Kick his ass! " shouted a Goth.

" Get him little guy!" yelled a Jock.

" Fight! Fight! Fight! " cheered a Tough Girl . Even Gary was getting in on the action.

" Whoop his pizza face ass Jimmy! " he yelled while swinging a cloth napkin in the air. Lionel ,who had managed to get on top, was sissy slapping Jimmy's face. Grabbing his right hand, Jimmy threw Lionel off of him with little effort,only to be then kicked in the ribs by the Geek leader, knocking the wind out of him. For a skinny ass guy, he had a hard kick. He attempted to kick Jimmy again, but misjudged his aim and his other foot went out from under him. He landed with a loud thud and a sharp crack.

"Agh! I broke a bone! I broke a bone! You'll pay dearly for that you imbecile! ". He sprang to his feet surprisingly quick for someone with a broken bone.

" You landed on a plastic fork dumb ass! Damn, a egomaniac AND a hypochondriac! " shouted Jimmy, pointing down at a splintered plastic utensil . This only fuelled Lionel's anger even more.

" Well I could have! This is all you're fault anyway, you swinish simpleton! ". The two charged full speed at each other, only to skid to halt for the cook ,a frail and wirey, stern looking man with a slight but noticeable French accent, stood in their way.

" Stop this immediately! " He stretched his arms out between the two . " Oou, Monsieur Nerdstrom , vat zeems to be zee problem? ".

Lionel cleared his throat in a very stuck up tone.

"Ahem! Oh Mr. Croissant, I was simply defending myself against this insane brute ".

Mr. Croissant turned to Jimmy. "And your zide of zee story Monsieur?".

" The asshole started it by being a jerk ".

The cook rubbed his long pointy chin.

" Hmmm...alright, since oou are zee new student Mesiure...um ". He scratched his head for a second. "...uh, vatever your name iz, I am going to let zee incident

go. But pleeze, no more fighting inz my kitchen. Apologize to each other ".

Both boys grumbled a half-ass apology and went back to their tables as did the rest of the students. Once Jimmy was back at his table, Gary sat grinning.

" Wow, haven't seen such a good fight in awhile! ".

" Whatever Gary ".

" Whatever Gary? Is that all you can say after a good brawl like that? I think you've lost your edge. Your spunk. Your attitude. Your- ".

Jimmy shot him a glare. " Enough Gary. Shut up once in awhile".

As he tried to sit down, he sprung right back up. Apparently his sore rear end hadn't healed yet.

" What's the matter Jimmy? Did pizza face really kick your ass that much? Nah, can't be it...Ah! You must've gotten Bitchhilda's 'special punishment'. You did,

didn't you. Come on, give me every detail. Did you cry like baby? Did you whimper like a scared puppy? ".

" Yeah, I cried just like you did when I handed your ass to you on the school roof ".

Ignoring his come back, Gary stuffed a spoonful of his smashed together food into his mouth.

" I better hurry up, class starts soon...mmm, this shit is good " he said with crumbs flying everywhere.

" What class do I have? " asked Jimmy.

" Hell if I know...wait, check your vest pocket, there should be a card with your assigned classes on it. I don't know why you didn't check there earlier ".

It was **7:50** now and students were quickly filing out.

" Better get your ass to class ,James. The hall monitors will ring your neck if they catch you playing hooky".

" A couple hall monitors don't scare me ".

" Yeah, but you'll get whipped again. Unless you're into that sort of thing...".

" Fine, I get it, shut the hell up ".

He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a small card. It read :

**MONDAY-FRIDAY**

**BREAKFAST: 5:30-7:55**

**PERIOD 1: MATH 8:00-9:55 **

**PERIOD 2: SIENCE 10:00-11:55**

**LUNCH: 11:55-12:55 **

**PERIOD 3: HISTORY 1:00-1:55**

**PERIOD 4: ENGLISH 2:00-3:25 **

**PERIOD 5: GYM 3:30-5:25**

**DINNER : 5:25-6:55 PERIOD 6: extra curricular activities of choice 7:00-11:00**

**LIGHTS OUT AT 1:00 AM SHARP**

And on the back of the card :

**SATURDAY-SUNDAY**

**BREAKFAST 5:30-7:55**

**PERIOD 1: ART 8:00-8:55**

**PERIOD 2: GEOGRAPHY 9:00- 9:55**

**PERIOD 3: GYM 10:00-11:55**

**LUNCH 11:55-1:55**

**PERIOD 4: SHOP / HOME ECONOMICS 2:00-3:00**

**DINNER 5:25-6:55**

**PERIOD 5: extra curricular activities of choice 7:00-11:00**

**LIGHTS OUT AT 1:00 AM SHARP**

" Holy shit ,this is alot of classes ".

Simon, who had remained quiet for sometime now, chirped " Oh indeed, but I'm sure you'll get used to it. Brat-Hog has produced some of the brightest minds of

this century thanks to it's excellent curriculum-".

" Since when did you become one of the Geeks Simon? " Jimmy responded, staring down at the small boy.

" Whatever do you mean? ".

He was about to point out how much of a doofus he sounded like when he noticed two very tall blonde women wearing long dark green leather coats and military caps pulled far over their faces standing by the cafeteria exit.

" Who the hell are-? ".

" Hmm, looks like your little tussle with pizza face caught the attention of the hall monitors ".

" How? ".

Gary pointed up. There were sophisticated security cameras mounted on the ceiling.

" Crap. What do I do now? ".

" Play it cool , Hopkins. I'm pretty sure Mr. Croissant told them to lay off. Looks you got a free pass, but I wouldn't expect any more. He's not exactly found of

kids. But anyway, follow me out, just act natural ". Gary, Jimmy and Simon were smushed shoulder to shoulder as they made their way out. Gary was nonchalant, Jimmy held his breath and Simon shook like a leaf. None the less, the hall monitors paid no attention to them and once the three were in the main hall, Jimmy and Simon sighed in relief.

" My goodness, I think I nearly had a heart attack ".

Gary smacked Simon on the back.

"Geez,don't be so fragile man. Or boy. Or girl. Or whatever it is you are. Right, so Jim, you and I both have math. Follow me this way ". Gary sprinted ahead,down the hall to his right.

Simon turned to Jimmy and said " Well, I have English . Do take care now, it was nice meeting you Jimmy " with a goofy grin on his face. He headed to his left.

Jimmy ran where Gary had just went. He found him by a dark green door that read MATH in cursive. Next to the door was a painting of a boar wearing

small glasses and writing arithmetic on a black board.

" Hey, about time slow ass. All those Beam Colas catching up with you? ".

_' Crap. This probably means we have all the same_ _classes '_ .

He saw a name plate on the door and read it aloud.

" Hmm...Mr. Al Gerbra? You've got to be kidding me...".

"Yes indeed . Oh, one small detail. It's ...well... it's his voice...how do I put it...it's like the sound of someone scraping nails on a black board at a thousand

decibels ".

" Come on, it can't be that bad ".

Gary didn't answer, he only shook his head and entered the classroom.

* * *

Jimmy was hunched over his desk in frustration. He had never really done any sort of math through out his school years, much less the advance geometry placed before him . He roughly scratched his head, trying to figure out what the hell all these funky equations were. And the sad part was that these brain wrecking problems were only slightly more irritating than Mr. Gerbra 's voice. He had to admit that Gary was right, he did sound horrible. It made him recall that screaming duck from those Aflack commercials. He laughed now thinking about it. He almost forgot that he was seriously screwed if he didn't get someone to do this assignment for him. A Geek. Yeah, a brainiac could certainly finish this crap before the bell rang. He scanned the room, first taking notice of Gary, who was seated directly in front of him, scribling away. Sure, he was pretty smart, but Jimmy thought that if he asked Gary for help, he was bound to do something crazy. Like call him out in class. Or purposely write all the wrong answers on the sheet. Or maybe even take this as an excuse to put a hold over him.

_'__ God, I'm really __getting paranoid! Think Jim, think! '._

Getting back to surveying the students of the class, he saw a Goth,two Farm Kids, a Hippie and a Metal Head, none of which were likely candidates. He looked to his immediate right. As if it were a miracle, here was a Geek. And double luck, it was Leo Finklestien too. Whispering as low as he could, he got the attention of the pimple faced kid.

" Hey. Yo, you there. Leo or whatever it was. I need a favor ". It took a moment, but the other boy eventually raised his head. Not making eye contact and keeping his face turned forwards, he leaned towards Jimmy.

" Ah, I'm glad to help. Anyone who can stand up to Lionel like that is a friend of mine ". Jimmy passed his assignment onto Leo's desk. He took a quick glance.

" This is a breeze. Of course you will have to do something for me...".

He took a scrap of paper from his vest pokect, wrote on it, folded it and placed it on Jimmy's desk.

" Your instructions are on there".

Jimmy opened the note.

**MEET ME AT 1800 hours IN THE COURT YARD. FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE GIVEN THERE.**

**LEO**

Jimmy smiled. He now had an ally.

* * *

**Long chapter. And a fight scene too. Things are getting interesting.**

**German translations:**

**Guten Morgan: Good Morning**

**Die Strafe wird nicht ausbleiben!: Punishment is inevitable!**

**XX-THIRST**

***UPDATE 10/03/2013 : Fixed some more spelling grammar errors.**


	5. Chp4 Jim Class

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make**

**money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. **

**Sorry for the long wait. I do have other things to do. – XX-THIRST.**

…**Chapter 4: Jim Class**

**(words in italics stand for thoughts)**

Jimmy had the mumbling and barely understandable Mr. Beaker for science class, grilled cheese sandwiches and grape juice for lunch (which Gary remarked as being a 'dork lunch' and then proceeded to throw mashed potatoes at Simon) ,a plump and pleasant but highly annoying Ms. Timely for history and Mr. Phonic for English who seemed quite the opposite of Mr. Galloway for he demanded absolute perfection to the point where everyone had to write their answers in pen. Now Jimmy was sitting on a bench in the gym locker room tying the laces of his sneakers. He sat next to Gary who appeared to be amusing himself by flicking crumpled bits of paper into a waste basket.

" So, enjoy your first set of classes ,Hopkins? What did you think of Brat-Hog's fine educators? ".

" Hated them " grunted Jimmy.

" Just the answer I expected. Though I can't say I care for them either. I hate it when Ms. Timely does that accent thing. You know, when she read about the French revolution, she did that God awful French accent? Shit, I'd hate to see what happens when she reads about cavemen discovering fire".

Jimmy chuckled and was amazed that Gary actually said something he found funny. Finished tying his shoes, he looked about the room and wondered aloud "Hey, where's Simon? I could've sworn he was in here a second ago…".

Gary sucked in a breath and said " Hell if I know. The little squirt always hides somewhere during gym class. Probably afraid of getting his ass whooped ". Gary stretched from side to side and rolled his neck around and about while grunting. Jimmy's stretching on the other hand was in a less dramatic fashion and as he did so, he caught a glimpse of Lionel who glared at him and mouthed " I've got my eye on you".

' _What a douche _bag '.

Gary started snapping his fingers in Jimmy's face.

" Hey, earth to Jimmy! We're going to be late for gym! It's mandatory that you be in the gym one minute before class starts. Do you want to get your ass fried? Let's move it ,slow poke". The two exited the locker room and walked into the massive gym which was adorned with teal flags featuring a boar climbing a rope. Jimmy took in his surroundings, eyeing a wrestling mat in one corner, vaulting posts in another, an enormous balancing beam near the back and a long thick rope hanging from the ceiling in the center of the room.

" Who's the teacher for this class ?" whispered Jimmy to Gary.

" Just wait and see. I think you'll be presently surprised". A bell rang and all the students were quiet. Footsteps could be heard approaching the gym doors. Jimmy envisioned a burly, overly tanned, seven foot tall body builder ploughing through those doors with steaming nostrils at any minute. But instead, an all too familiar face strolled in instead, clad in leather boots and a leather trench coat and wielding a whip.

" Ah, Guten Tag studenten. Aufgepasst! Herr Hopkins!" .

Gary whispered to Jimmy "Stand up straight. She has a strict rule about slouching". Jimmy immediately straightened his back.

" Gut. Now let us start class. As you know, since vee have a new student, vee must show must show him no mercy. Kick him as hard as you can, throv him as hard as you can, be unbarmherzig! ". Jimmy peeked out of the corner of his eye. He saw Lionel with a devious grin painted across his face.

" First vee are going to play a little dodge ball, ya? Now Herr Hopkins, I must explain our rules. Vee here separate teams by clique. Makes things much more orderly. Now hmm… vat team shall I put you and Herr Smith on…".

Jimmy thought this over. He could join the Jocks and kick Lionel's ass. But then another plan came to mind.

" We'll join the Geeks" he quickly said.

" Hmm? ". Brunhilda raised an eyebrow.

" Me and Gary are-".

" Gary and I!". She cracked her whip.

"Aah, geez! Gary and I are joining the Geeks ".

" NO!" screamed Lionel.

" Herr Nerdstrom! Go stand in zee corner until zee end of zee leezen! Now Herr Hopkins, since Herr Nerdstrom here decided to be a Du Blödmann, you are going to lead zee team, ya?".

" Sure why not….I mean yes ma'am".

Jimmy saw Lionel giving him the evil eye as he went for his "time out". He flashed the pompous nerd a middle finger …when Brunhilda had her back turned of course.

" And the purpose of joining the Geek's team Jimmy?".

" To piss off Lionel".

" I thought of that before you did. Bitchhilda just happened to ask you instead of me".

" Yeah right, did not".

"I did too!".

" Did not!".

" Did too!".

" Who cares?".

" I do because it was my idea!".

"Oh just drop it. I think Brunhilda is gonna say something".

The imposing woman stood before the student body and boomed "Aufgepasst! Zee first teamst to battle are das Goths und die Mydchen".

Jimmy couldn't decide who looked more ridiculous, the homely Tough Girls wearing guys' plaid gym wear or the Goths who looked like rejected members of KISS in black gym shorts. Whilst watching the clowns, he felt a tap upon his shoulder. It was Leo.

" Greetings Jimmy. Are we still on for our meeting?".

" Yep. But I have to drag Gary along here, hopefully you won't mind ".

" Not a problem at all. And thank you very much volunteering to be our team leader, perhaps we'll obtain a victory this time".

" Uh, how often do you guys lose?".

" We currently hold the record for most losses in a school year…for four years straight".

" I'm actually not surprised".

" And I am not surprised by your reaction. As you can see, none of us are physically adept to play dodge ball …or really any sport".

"Oh great. Look, when in doubt, just pass the ball to me or Gary. And you're best off using one of us as a shield ".

" Will do. With you as our leader, this will be a piece of cake!".

Unfortunately it didn't go that smoothly. They played against the Farm Kids who were really something fierce (their leader Billy in particular). Jimmy and Gary did fine on their own, but it seemed the Geeks lacked basic hand/eye coordination. Maurice Brim tripped over his shoe lace. Julius Roach was scared to death of the dodge ball hitting him, so he shielded his face and got hit in the head. Logan Hess broke his glasses and because he was unable to see, he threw the ball into gangly Merrill Winston's face who then stumbled into Gwen Thompson. Probably worst of all, Leo Finklestien somehow managed to hit himself in the nuts.

" This is damn pathetic" said Gary glumly.

" No shit" sighed Jimmy lowering his head into his palm.

" Well now what do we do? We're getting clobbered".

"You tell me. Didn't you say this was all your plan Mr. Genius?".

" Screw you Hopkins".

" Whatever. I think we need a new strategy". Jimmy motioned for the Geeks to gather in a huddle before the fifth and final round began.

"Alright morons. You guys seriously suck big time".

" Hey! There's no need for insults" protested the black geek, Maurice.

" I wouldn't be calling you names if you didn't suck at dodge ball, okay? Now, here's how I see it. Gary and I will line up side by side and everyone one else will line up behind us. Got it? ".

The geeks nodded in agreement.

"This will be the lineup. Gary and I are the front men. The fat asses Maurice and Logan will stand behind us. Behind them will be Merrill and Gwen. Behind them will be Leo and Julius. Now my strategy is that we all move at the same time. If the ball lands on the right, we all move to the right. Leo picks it up, passes it to the front and I throw. If it lands on the left, Julius picks it up, passes it to the front and Gary throws. No one's going to screw that up. Everyone clear ?".

"Yes".

" Indeed "

" I am ".

" Yep ".

" Yes Jimmy ".

" I'm with you".

" I conquer " .

" This plan sounds really retarded Jimmy, but it may just work ".

And that's what they did, even if it did earn them quite a number stares, giggles and comments like

"What the hell? ",

" Stupid dork-wads ",

" Bunch'a jack-asses" and

" You gotta be f-ing kidding me ". They certainly kicked the Farm Kids' asses though, leaving Lionel seething with anger for he certainly could've come up with a much better plan. At least that's he thought anyway. And he was going make sure Jimmy knew that he much smarter than him.

* * *

" Aufgepasst! Vee are going to now vestle some,ya? Everyvon line up at zee wrestling mat!" boomed Brunhilda after dodge ball. She commanded Jimmy, since he was the new student, to go first and wrestle with Mo Finklestien, who Leo had briefly mentioned was his twin sister.

" Why the hell do I have to wrestle a girl? ".

" VAT VAS THAT ? ".

"But…but that's not fair ".

"Do not tell me you are scared of a young Fräulein, Herr Hopkins ".

"No Ma'am ".

" Then vestle her Herr Hopkins. Vee do not have all day ".

" Yeah, we don't got all day" Mo gruffly repeated, the bull ring in her nose bobbing about with every word she spoke.

" But I don't wanna wrestle a girl! This is a trap!" .

Mo sucked her teeth and twirled a lock of her long curly brown hair. " Oh please. I've wrestled plenty of guys in my life time ".

" And what kind of wrestling would that be? ".

"HERR HOPKINS! ".

" Sorry Ma'am".

Gary pushed past Jimmy.

" Fine, I'll fight her Jimmy since you feel like being a pansy today ".

He cracked his knuckles and crouched down low and ready to fight. He and Mo stood silent. She suddenly smiled coyly and her blue eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief.

" Hey Gary, I can see your balls ".

" Huh? ".

Mo came in hard and fast, her head ramming into Gary's gut, which sent him stumbling backwards.

" Damn…" Mo grumbled. " I was aiming for his groin ".

She charged towards him again. Gary dodge her this time and quickly put her into a choke hold, one arm around her neck and the other around her waist. It didn't last long however, for she elbowed him in a sensitive area and he loosened his grip.

" Urgh! Cheap shot! Friggen cheap shot!" Gary screamed while stuffing his hands between his legs.

" FRAU FINKLESTIEN! " shouted Brunhillda.

" Er…y..yes Ma'am? ".

" As convenient as it ist, hitting in zee genital area ist not permitted. Are vee clear?".

" Yes Ma'am. Sorry Ma'am".

Gary had apparently recovered from his injury and took his wrestling stance again. Mo leapt with lightning speed and pounced on top of him . She shoved her first two fingers up his nose and let the rest dig into his face. After about ten seconds of that, Gary threw her off his back. She was stunned just long enough for him to crawl over and bite her leg. She let out a yelp, reached for his hair, grabbed a fist full and gave it a hard tug. He grunted is response, but didn't let go which only made Mo angrier. She then tugged his hair with both hands and pulled with all her might. Jimmy all the while was expecting Brunhillda yell at them for such barbaric fighting, but she didn't say a word or even flinch for that matter.

'_She'll allow hair pulling, biting, scratching and sticking your fingers up someone's nose, but no kicking in privates? That Brunhillda is crazy!'._

Now Gary and Mo were tumbling about the wrestling mat, both of them grunting, snarling, sweating profusely and amazingly, not one drop of blood had been spilt. Eventually Gary pinned Mo unto her stomach as he twisted her arm behind her back. Still stubborn as hell and not ready to give up, she kicked Gary in the butt and he practically sailed across the mat. He quickly sprang to his feet, ready for more action.

" I'm gonna make sure everybody here sees you lose to a girl" Mo shouted as sweat poured down her face.

" Just try!" Gary yelled back.

They dashed towards each other at full speed. They collided. Mo's fist slammed into Gary's crotch while his foot struck hers. The two toppled over and groaned in pain.

"Okay! It lookst like it ist a tie! One minute until zee next match!" the headmistress bellowed.

Jimmy helped Gary up off the floor, trying to stifle a laugh at the sight of him rubbing his privates and groaning " Damnet! Two shots to the nuts in one day!".

Mo, hobbling to the back of the gym, whined "Ugh, I didn't think I could get hurt there!".

One minute passed and Jimmy came face to face with his opponent, much to his relief, a male this time. Six feet tall,a well-built guy with swept back black hair, pale green eyes and boyish good looks. He shot Jimmy a smug grin.

" Man, I almost feel bad fighting you…I'd hate to …uh…what's that word? You know, the one that means you emasculate someone?".

"Emasculate?".

"Yeah, that one. I'd hate to emasculate you in front of all these hot chicks…and hell, the ugly chicks too".

He blew a kiss at the Tough Girls who all blew him back a raspberry. He then arrogantly flexed and kissed his biceps.

" Yeah. Kyle Brooder the man, all the ladies love him" he gloated. Dropping to his hands and knees, he began doing push-ups. " Bet you wish you could do push-ups like me". He moved his right arm to his back, did them one handed and repeated " Bet you wish you could do push-ups like me". He did one hundred one handed push-ups. He stood up and shoved Jimmy.

" Come on little guy, fight me". Jimmy didn't react, didn't move a muscle. Kyle pushed him again, harder this time.

" Didn't you hear me? I said fight me squirt ". Jimmy still didn't move. Kyle was obviously irritated. His face turned a noticeable shade of pink and he clenched his fists.

" I said fight me. NOW " he said through gritted teeth. Jimmy only laughed at him.

" I'm only fighting you after you've done six hundred jumping jacks, six hundred push-ups and six hundred sit-ups. In that order ".

" Heh, heh, heh that's all? Piece of cake! ".

And he did six hundred jumping jacks, six hundred push-ups and six hundred sit-ups. He rose from floor and shook his hair. Perspiration flew every which way, like a smelly, salty rainstorm. He breathed heavily as he turned to face Jimmy.

"Now…are we…gonna fight…or..what?" he gasped. His face was now beet red and his legs shook, barely able to hold him up.

"Okay. Let's fight. You go first".

"Alright…get…ready…to…hyrrg..!". Kyle threw a weak punch and collapsed. After not getting up for ten counts, Bruhillda announced

" And zee vinner ist Herr Hopkins !".

Kyle's fellow Jocks peeled him from the mat while him grumbled every curse word in the English language.

The next matches aren't really noteworthy other than Lionel(who was finally dismissed from time-out) fought against a burly Metal Head and surrendered after being pinned to the floor for three seconds.

With wrestling over, the students were rushed to the balance beam and were ordered to balance on it ,three people at a time. Jimmy had perfect balance. Gary fell off and landed flat on his ass. Vaulting was next. Gary leapt over the posts with ease while Jimmy(having the inability to jump high enough) crashed into the posts and sent them toppling over. That same inability caused him an embarrassing moment when it came time to climb the rope and he was unable to reach it. The headmistress had to aid the poor boy by scooping him up into her arms and lifting him up to the rope, the scene causing a roar of laughter amongst the students. Thankfully, that was quickly forgotten for Lionel, upon reaching the top of the rope, remembered his fear of heights, kicked his long skinny legs frantically and squealed like a stuck pig. He was eventually brought down with the help of a ladder and several hall monitors.

**5:25 pm** came with loud ring of a bell. As the students trudged out of the gym, Brunhillda motioned over Jimmy and Gary with a single finger.

" Haben Sie sich gut unterhalten ,Herr Hopkins? ".

Not being fluent in German, he wasn't exactly sure how to respond. The headmistress sighed.

" Did you like my class Herr Hopkins? Hmm? ". She towered over the boy, lightly tapping her whip on her right hip.

" Uh…".

" 'Uh' ist not an answer ".

" It…it was okay…um…I had a good work out".

"Gut. Do try to work on your jumping. A toddler could jump higher than you ".

* * *

**5:30 pm. **Jimmy and Gary were sitting down to dinner, meat loaf, green beans and lime soda and Gary's smashed mountain of food with prescription pills sprinkled on top of it. Jimmy re-laid to Gary about the note Leo had given him in math class.

**MEET ME AT 1800 hours IN THE COURT YARD. FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS WILL BE GIVEN THERE.**

**LEO.**

In between bites (and chewing with his mouth open) Gary agreed to accompany Jimmy to his meeting with Leo.

" This should be very interesting. I'll come along to amuse myself. Don't have anything better to do". He shoved a spoonful of mush into his mouth, grimaced and swallowed hard .

"Ah, gotta love that good old Angertrex DM. Tastes like crap every time".

" Hey Gary. I think I see Simon coming this way".

He was indeed right. Simon came skipping to their table carrying a tray of chicken nuggets and a tall, clear glass of water. The English boy plopped down next to Jimmy.

" Good evening Jimmy and Gary. Mind if I take a seat here and chat you up? ".

" Huh?" Jimmy asked, his eyebrows positioned in a quizzical state.

" Oh, pardon me. You and I haven't had a chance to chat really. Gary only told me a tad about you this morning before he came to knock you up- ".

" Say what? " said Jimmy, getting angry.

" That's dork talk for ' I knocked on your door' ".

" Dork talk? Why I never!" Simon scoffed.

While Simon and Gary bickered over whether it was "dork talk" or British English, Jimmy observed, from across the room, Lionel bossing his fellow Geeks around.

'_Geez, the guy thinks he owns them. And that Kyle dude wasn't that much different from Pizza Face. Is everyone at this school a condescending jerk? '._

Dinner came and went quickly. Simon had run off to the library, explaining that he needed to study for a math test. In the meantime, Jimmy, much to his dismay, discovered that he had to share a dorm room with Gary. The two boys sat on their beds across from each other, Gary scribbling in a note book, Jimmy listing to music on a beat-up CD Player, both of them killing time before their meeting at **1800 hours**( also known as **6:00 pm** ). Gary had informed the other boy that they could be attending one of the many social clubs and participating in various activities on Bat-Hog's campus right now, but most of them he wasn't really interested in. " Trivial meanderings" was the term he used to describe such things.

Fifteen minutes passed and they were off to meet the Geeks. Gary led Jimmy through a maze of long narrow hallways while he rattled off the profiles of the members of the aforementioned clique ( and he obviously enjoyed doing it ).

" Alright, so as you've probably noticed, Lionel Nerdstrom is arrogant as hell and thinks he owns the Geeks. This stems from the fact that his computer analyst mother and bio chemist father have donated most of the equipment for the science and computer labs and Lionel demands that everyone should kiss his pimply ass because of it. As if we all owe him something ". Gary spat at the end for emphasizes.

" Then we have his, somewhat, second in command, Leo Finklestien. Can fire off mathematical equations a mile a minute, but the poor kid crumples like tissue paper if a speck of dust hits him, the polar opposite of his twin sister Mo Finklestien who tried to rip my balls off in gym class. She's the lesbian lover of…oh wait, sorry, I'll tell you that little story later. Back to the Geeks ".

Jimmy quietly sighed, slightly disappointed.

" Next, there's Maurice Brim, the fat black Geek who's cheerful but very sensitive about his weight. Logan Hess, the fat white Geek who doesn't give a rat's ass about his weight. Julius Roach has chronic B.O, but you probably didn't notice because of your own B.O problem ".

Jimmy shot a tight fist up, a mere inch from Gary's nose.

" Would you like that nose of yours coming out the other side of your head Gary? Keep saying shit like that and it WILL happen ".

"Okay, okay, calm down. You don't need to go into gorilla mode. Now where was I? Oh yes, what I meant to say was that you probably didn't notice Julius's B.O because he slathers on a ton of deodorant. Gets rid of the stink, but leaves all the arm pits of his shirts chalk white or pale yellow ".

" Gross, man".

" Nerds and Geeks are not the most hygienic people. Which brings me to my next point. Julius also doesn't shower. He's afraid of large amounts of water, which also contributes to his stench".

" Ew ".

" There's Merrill Winston who's the sixth generation to attend this hell-hole, but he's the only one to not attend on a sports scholarship. The nerd scourge of the family. And we have the female Geek, Gwen Thompson, officially named ' Ugliest Girl at Brat-Hog '. Yick. Have you seen her f-ing face? Looks like an exploded pizza with coke bottle glasses and a boy's hair cut ".

They finally came to the main hall. Kids were bustling and chattering about this and that while the hall monitors, all stern looking women in long green trench coats, watched over them all like hawks. Before Jimmy knew it, Gary was quickly pulling him into a dark corner. He jiggled the knob on an old rusty door that was in that corner. He opened it slowly and only half way and then motioned for Jimmy to follow him inside.

" What the hell are we-".

"Sssh! There's a loose stone in the wall here somewhere…ah,hah! Found it. This hole leads outside to the front courtyard. We're only allowed off campus every two weeks and lucky you, this just happens to be the week we're not allowed off campus".

" What kind of crazy ass rule is that?".

" Beats me. Go ask Bitchhillda, the leather cow, yourself. I'll explain the rest of that later ".

The two moved the stone together and crawled out through the narrow hole onto the front courtyard. It was dark and completely deserted. Well, _almost _completely deserted_. _In the far off distance were shadowy maroon blobs standing by the front gate.

' _The Geeks… '._

Once Jimmy and Gary had arrived before the group, Leo stepped forward.

" Hello Jimmy. Hello Gary . We need you to do us a…very… big favor".

" Yeah? What's that?".

The pimply faced boy's eyes narrowed as his mouth curled into a sadistic grin.

" We need you to kill Lional Nerdstrom ".

**There we go. Done. Took me awhile didn't it?. **

**Will Jimmy and Gary really have to kill Pizza Face? Who knows. We'll see.- XX-THIRST**

**German translations:**

**Guten Tag studenten: Good Afternoon students**

**Aufgepasst! ****: Attention!**

**Gut: Good**

**Unbarmherzig****: Merciless, ruthless**

**Du Blödmann : Jerk**

**Das: The(for masculine words)**

**Und: And**

**Die: The(for feminine words)**

**Mydchen: Girls**

**Fräulein****: Female**

**Haben Sie sich gut unterhalten?****: Did you have a good time?**

***UPDATE 10/04/2013: Fixed some spelling and layout errors***


	6. Chp5 The Death of Lionel

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make**

**money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. This chapter contains drug references. – XX-THIRST**

…**Chapter 5: The Death of Lionel**

" We need you to kill Lionel Nerdstrom ".

" W…what?" said Jimmy , backing up slightly. Leo began laughing.

" Oh ,ha, ha , sorry. I meant to say grill . We want to grill him at the spelling bee this Friday. He's the undisputed champion and if you were to defeat him, it would utterly humiliate him and he would be driven to quit school ".

" I liked the killing idea better " .

" Never mind that. But really Jimmy, would you be willing to enter the spelling bee?".

Gary let out a snort and a giggle.

" Ha! Jimmy? A spelling bee? Heh, heh, heh, hee, hee, hee…".

" Shut up jack-ass!". Jimmy punched Gary in the shoulder.

" Fine! Spell Antidisestablimentarianism".

Jimmy frowned.

" Uh…A. N. T. I. D…E? ".

" Alright Four Eyes, we can all see here that I should be the one to enter that spelling bee. I can break this guy. I know how he ticks ".

" Yeah, takes a know-it-all to know a know-it-all".

Ignoring Jimmy, Gary continued.

" I think it'll take more than winning the spelling bee to break Pizza Face. Come on, your brains are huge, think guys ".

They all stood about until Maurice quipped " I know! There's the school play next Saturday! Lionel always rigs the cast list so that he can be the lead male role while we wind up as stage hands . Perhaps you can replace his version with your own? This year's play is Romeo and Juliet, so..."

Gary rubbed his hands together while chuckling.

" So we get a guy to kiss old Pizza Face. Logan, you like guys right? You do it ".

Logan Hess shook his chubby head.

" Uh,huh. Not in a million years. I don't want to taste his grimy Kool-Aid mustache".

" Fine, we'll get someone else to do it. Jimmy? Wanna take one for the team? ".

Jimmy smacked him in the head.

" Ow! Heh, heh, I was only kidding Jim. Can't take a joke? ".

Leo sneezed. Gary jumped, avoiding a nasty ball of green snot that shot out like a bullet. It splatted upon the ground .

" Oh geez! Almost got that shit on my shoes!".

" Sorry. I think my allergies are flaring up".

Jimmy held back the vomit creeping up his throat.

" Gross man ".

" Now that we're done with that…" said Gary leading Jimmy away," I think we can handle it from here".

As the two boys left, Maurice sighed.

" Are you sure those two are the right guys for the job?".

Leo shrugged and said " Well I'm certainly not about to dirty my hands ".

Gwen timidly mumbled " Should we really be doing this? I mean, driving a fellow student to quit school….".

Julius tittered in his oddly high pitched laugh. " Hee,hee,hee,hee! You're only saying that because you have a crush on him! ".

She blushed crimson red, causing more zits to flare up upon her face. She buried her chin into her chest.

* * *

In the meantime, Gary and Jimmy had arrived back into the main hallway. They were seated upon a plush green couch.

" I think I know who we can get to kiss Lionel at the school play. His name's Kody Brant, one of the metal heads ".

" Okay ,let's ask him then ".

" Eh, let's see, tonight's Tuesday, so…err, we'll have to wait until Thursday".

" Why?".

" Because he's stoned as hell on Tuesdays and Wednesdays ".

" Ah…".

" Don't mess with him when he's stoned. It's not a pretty sight".

" How would you know?".

" Cause I did weed with him and the rest of the gang".

" You smoked that stuff?".

Gary let out a crazy hyena laugh.

" Did you really think I was going to be a goody two shoes once I got here? I'm Gary frick'in Smith!".

" Doesn't it affect your meds? ".

" Only a little. Besides, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Doesn't hurt to get friendly with a clique does it?".

" I guess not…never smoked weed though".

" You're kidding… YOU of all people Jimmy have NEVER done grass?".

" No way. I don't drink either. Stunts your growth".

" Yeah, we wouldn't want you to get any shorter ".

" Why you -!".

A hall monitor called out Jimmy's last name from across the hall. He jogged over to the stern looking dark-skinned woman who, when greeted by him, shoved a folded sheet of paper into his hands.

" From Head Mistress Whipenhoffen. You may go Mr. Hopkins ".

He read her name tag before she turned to leave. Mistress Brenda Jones. Then he read the paper he was given. It contained the names of some fifty six prescription medications and twelve vitamins, all of which were assigned to a certain Gary Smith. Below the list was a note, written by the head mistress herself, that said it was imperative that Herr Smith take **EVERY **one of his medications and vitamins, otherwise it could have dire consequences. She also wrote that Jimmy had to stand up straighter because when he slouched, it made his ass look like a girl's ass.

Upon returning to where Gary was still seated, Jimmy crumpled the paper and stuffed it into his pants pocket.

" What was that all about?".

" None of your business".

" Come on Jimmy, we're pals, you can tell me".

" I don't remember us agreeing to be 'pals' ".

" Well, we're both stuck here, so might as well sick together, right? ".

' _I guess I have no choice since I have to keep an eye on him. Shit! '._

" Oh hell, fine ".

" Great! " said Gary patting Jimmy on the shoulder. He got up and motioned for Jimmy to follow him.

" Where are we going?".

" The library. The Spelling Bee sign-up sheet is there and we need to go fetch Simon. He can help us switch the cast lists on Thursday ".

They made their way through seemingly endless corridors and eventually came to a set of double doors which read " **COURT YARD A1** " above them. Going through, they stepped out into what looked like a small town lined with shops, restaurants and other buildings with students walking in and out of them.

" What's this place?".

" The students hang here during 'off week' as we call it. You know, when we're not allowed off campus. I'll tell you more about that on our way to library ".

Gary explained along the way that Brat-Hog academy was in the middle of a spacious forest. The only way to town (if you didn't drive a car, which most of the students were too young to do) was via a special bus and that bus only ran every other week, hence the crazy rule. That and the leather cow(as Gary called the head mistress) just needed an excuse to control them.

The boys had now arrived at the library and climbed the twenty something stairs to the entrance. Once inside, they passed the sour faced librarian Ms. Lemonstill, who's expression was about as pleasant as spoiled milk. Her thin lips crinkled at the sight of them and she was about to say something when a kid putting a book back upon the shelf upside-down took her attention away from them. She scurried over to scold the young man and fiercely wagged an index finger in his face. Gary quickly pulled Jimmy by the wrist away from the disgruntled old bat and lead him to a large cork board covered with flyers.

Gary found the spelling bee signup sheet posted there. As he expected, Lionel's name was first on the sheet. He read off the other names to Jimmy.

" Let's see…We have Saturn Rogers: Hippie. Keith Doe and Nigel Wilcox: a wimp and a blimp. Also goths. Ronnie Harper: Tough girl. MAJOR lezbo. Kyle Brooder? Okay, I don't know what hell his name's doing on here. Eh, maybe Mr. Phonic is making him do this as punishment. Anyway… he's the leader of the Jocks. John Lewis: Metal Head. Katey Olson: Cheerleader. Robert Hinklesack: Farm kid. And now…last but certainly not least….". He scribbled down his signature.

" The great Gary Smith!".

Jimmy squinted at the signature.

" Looks more like ' Hans Smirnoff ' to me. Your signature sucks".

" F- you Jimmy. Now let's go find Simon".

They soon found Simon in the Science section. He was reading a book entitled " Fireworks: A History of Such". Gary tapped him on the back, but he seemed to be absorbed in his reading.

" Hey! Tampon boy!".

Simon spun around. For a split second, he had the strangest expression, one of both incredible fear and absolute rage. Gary and Jimmy jerked back.

" Oh my! Terribly sorry, you startled me a bit ".

Gary plucked the book out of Simon's hands and put it back on the shelf ,upside-down. He then proceeded to tell him about the plan to switch the cast list for the play and how they were going to force Lionel to quit school. The two began arguing about the ethics about such a thing, Simon stating that it was morally wrong, while Gary said he give a flying…Jimmy cut him off with " If you guys are finished bickering, let's get this crap done and over with".

Gary snickered " Since when did you learn a big word like 'bickering' ? ".

Jimmy replied with an angry glare.

" Anyway Jimmy, we can't switch the cast lists tonight. We have to get Kody to agree to kiss Pizza Face first. And there's a very slim chance that's going to happen ".

* * *

The rest of the night and Wednesday flew by without incident (aside from a big cafeteria food fight instigated by the Farm Kids). Thursday night came and at **7:15 pm**, Jimmy and Gary went through COURT YARD B2 and came to a sort of apartment building.

" The kids with more money at this hell hole sometimes rent apartments in the court yard instead of staying in the dorms " Gary said while chewing on a toothpick.

" What's the point of getting an apartment?".

"You get a nice view of the forest, you get your own fridge and bar and best of all, you don't have to share your space with another person ".

Once in inside, they rode an elevator to the third floor and walked to apartment 36A. Gary rapped upon the door. It opened and out stepped a boy of maybe sixteen or seventeen with shaggy, shoulder length brown hair. He had a dirty bandana tied around his fore head and thick leather boots on his feet, looking every bit the typical rock band member. He shook Gary's hand and slapped him on the back.

" Hey man, how's it hanging? ". He then noticed Jimmy. " Who's that? ".

" Just the new kid ,Jimmy, who beat up Pizza Face on Tuesday. Anyway, we need a favor from you".

" Sure, come on in".

The distinct scent of marijuana and sweaty socks floated through Jimmy's nostrils, almost making him gag. He pinched his nose between two fingers and followed the other boys inside. The walls were plastered with posters of just about every music band known to man, from The Rolling Stones to KISS.

" Anybody want a beer?" Kody said, opening up a can. They both declined the offer and instead, sat on the floor. Gary spoke.

" Okay, here goes. The Geeks are pretty much pissed off with Pizza Face Lionel and want him out of this school. The first step is to beat him at the spelling bee ".

" Really…". Kody didn't sound particularly interested.

" Now for second step, here's where you come in. The school play's next week and Jimmy and I here are going to rig the cast list. We were hoping that you would be willing to play the role of Juliet. It's only for one scene, but you get to kiss a guy ".

Kody's eye brows raised, now more interested.

" And who would that guy be?".

" Lionel ".

His face suddenly contorted and turned the shade of rotten spinach.

" No way! ".

" Come on, we need you for this, man! I'd ask one of the hippies, but the whole rigging of the cast list would go against their morals or whatever because they're all about free love and shit. Look, I'll pay ten bucks even, if you just do this ".

" Make it twenty and we got a deal. Oh and I also get to go on a date the new kid " said Kody, pointing at Jimmy.

" Wha? Hey, whoa! I am NOT going out with you! I have a girlfriend! I'm outta here! ". As he began to leave, Gary pulled him by the arm.

" Oh get back here. Relax Jimmy. It's one date ".

"… fine. But no funny business Kody".

The metal head responded with a wide grin.

" Heh, heh, sure thing little guy. Our date's gonna be next Monday night, seven-thirty p.m and I gotta be back by eight thirty because I got band practice at nine ".

Jimmy complained all the way back to the dorms about how he couldn't believe he'd gotten into this, that Zoe would be pissed and rip his balls off, that his life was shit, that Gary was a jerk and a stupid f-

" Oh quit your bitching Jimmy. You're acting like I pimped you out or something ".

Rounding a corner was Simon and upon seeing them, he skipped over to greet the boys.

" Jolly good evening! Say, can chat you two up for a bit? I need some help studying and I was wondering if you could-".

Gary cut him off ,saying " Nope, but there is one thing you can help us with" while he and Jimmy headed for their dorm room. Simon trailed behind, struggling to keep up. Jimmy, after a moment, asked him

" Hey, by the way, where the hell do you disappear to during gym class? ". Before he could answer, Gary let out a groan.

" Urgh! What the f-? Someone put crap all over our door knob!".

" Huh?".

Jimmy examined the knob. It was covered a dark red sticky liquid.

" Oh shit…it…it's blood!".

Simon gasped as his face turned stark white. Gary said nothing, but still looked weary. He used the end of his shirt to slowly open the door. The room was dark, but they could make out a strange shape on the floor. Gary flicked the light switch on . All three young men screamed. Lying upon the floor in a bloody heap was Lionel with a knife stuck up under his ribs.

**Is Lionel really dead? Who killed him? We'll see what happens. -XX-THIRST**

**In case you were wondering:**

**Antidisestablimentarianism : ****is a political position that originated in 19th-century Britain in opposition to proposals for the ****disestablishment****of the Church of England, that is, to remove the Anglican Church's status as the state church of England, Ireland, and Wales.**

***UPDATE 10/04/2013: Fixed some spelling mistakes***


	7. Chp6 Lionel's Resurrection

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make**

**money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. – XX-THIRST**

…**Chapter 6: Lionel's Resurrection**

The "corpse" suddenly began to chuckle and then rose from the floor. They screamed again. Lionel laughed even harder.

" Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! You fell for it! You actually fell for it you imbecilic peons! ". He peeled off what was half of a rubber knife as he continued to laugh.

By now Simon had fainted into Gary's arms, who was frozen still and open mouthed. Jimmy stomped towards Lionel, fists clenched hard, like rocks.

" Out! Beat it four eyes! Or in your case, with glasses that thick, eight eyes ".

" Only someone with a brain as tiny as yours could conceive a mundane insult like that. And I don't even wear glasses, remember ? ".

" He's got you there Jim " chimed in Gary.

Lionel snapped back " As if you're any smarter than he is! I think Jimmy's neanderthal intellect is starting to rub off on you ".

Gary dropped Simon like a hot potato and charged full speed ahead, ploughing into both Lionel and Jimmy. The three boys became a tangle of flying punches and kicks and eventually rolled out into the hallway, still fighting. Every boy in the dorm heard the commotion and their curiosity lead them out of their rooms and into the hall to witness the fight. They cheer, hollered, and shouted. However, someone bumped into another by accident which soon lead to an all-out testosterone induced brawl with Jimmy, Gary and Lionel right in the thick of it. The group later heard the sounds of whistles being blown and everyone scattered like ants.

" This isn't over!" shouted Lionel dramatically, as he scrambled to his feet and ran away. Jimmy began to yell profanities back at him, but stopped when he saw the approaching hall monitors. He grabbed Gary , rushed into their room and slammed the door shut. As they caught their breath, Simon awoke from his fainting spell.

" My goodness! I thought for sure that I had popped the twig!".

" What did I tell you Jimmy? Dork talk. Now everyone shut up, I'm trying to listen to what's going on outside".

Gary pressed his ear against the door. He could hear the screams of boys as they were dragged away by shouting hall monitors. He shook his head as he turned to face the other two and said " Sounds pretty nasty out there. You'll probably have to hunker down with us for the night Simon. You can sleep on the floor ".

" Where on the floor?".

" Any damn where on the floor ".

"But the blood-!".

Gary sighed. With an index finger, he wiped up a small glob of the red gunk and stuck it in his mouth.

" Just corn syrup and fruit punch mix , you dweeb ".

Jimmy, with a grimaced face, mumbled " Lionel was just lying in that stuff ".

" Wha? Oh shit! Bleh! ".

Gary began franticly disinfecting his tongue with his shirt sleeve.

* * *

Jimmy slept with the sheets pulled over his head. Things had calmed down and Simon had left for his dorm room a few hours ago. But he couldn't sleep and when he reached for his alarm clock, he groaned at time display. **3:14 am**. He threw it upon the floor and tossed and turned around in his bed for about a minute. What was keeping him awake? Worried that his mom hadn't contacted him since Christmas? Wondering what Zoe was up to? Or maybe it was Gary's obnoxious snoring that sounded like a congested buffalo in a wind tunnel. Jimmy was ready to march over and clonk him on the head when the snoring ceased.

' _Ugh, finally…wait, what's he-?'._

Gary stopped snoring, but now he had risen from the bed and was pacing around the room, humming an odd tune. He noticed Jimmy staring at him. He smiled and sat down next to Jimmy. He slowly rocked from side to side, all the while still smiling and humming.

' _Oh geez… what the hell is his problem? '. _

Jimmy racked his brain for a possible answer. He remembered two of the medications on the list he was given. Blissaform, a mood softener and Frolictrexamene, a drug used to treat Schizophrenia. He wasn't sure exactly what to do, so he just sat and let Gary hum away.

" You know Jimmy….I used to have a girlfriend when I was twelve…." Gary said in a strange wispy voice.

" Really? ".

" Yeah…Sandy McBride. She and I used to date. Nice chick…her parents didn't like me though. They said that I was weird and I would probably grow up to be either a dope dealer, a psyche war patient or a sleazy lawyer ".

' _The McBrides weren't too far off '. _

" The break-up was kind of bad. She told me she couldn't see herself marrying a guy who was on fifty six medications".

"Ouch".

" Oh I didn't really mind much. We were just two very different people".

" You're pretty doped up aren't you?".

" Reeeeeelaaax Jimmy. Hmm, hmm, hmm . I haven't dated anyone since then though. Girls don't really like me much".

" No. Really? I'm shocked" said Jimmy, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

" Hard to believe isn't it? I'm smart. I'm funny. I'm nice. Hmmmmm, I'm kind of tired Mommy".

" Uh….Gary?".

Gary had toppled over, fast asleep. Jimmy sighed, picked him up and tucked him back into bed. As he stood over him, shaking his head , Jimmy whispered

" What a sorry son-of-a-bitch ".

* * *

**6:30 am, Friday morning. **Jimmy awoke to his bed violently shaking. He quickly sat up, yelling " What the hell? ".

Gary was jumping up and down at the end of Jimmy's bed.

He gleefully screamed " I've got it! I've got it! I'm a genius! I figured it out! I have the most brilliant, most scintillating plan to defeat Pizza Face at the spelling bee!".

" Good for you. Now get off my damn bed!".

Gary giggled ferociously as he leapt off. He dove under his own bed and pulled out a small, rectangular book. He threw it Jimmy, almost hitting him in the face. Jimmy picked up the book and read the title aloud.

" 'Sniglits?' What are we gonna do, beat Lionel over the head with the book? Although that's not a bad idea….".

" No, pea brain. That's not it at all. I've been observing Lionel the entire time I've been at this dump and I've finally figured it out. Heh, heh, heh, he's good at spelling and all, but here's his weakness. He can't spell any word he hasn't heard or read before ".

" Really? Huh, well , what do you know. But how is this book going to help? ".

" Sniglets are made up words".

" How do you know he hasn't read the book?"

" Trust me, I know. He hates made up words. That and this is a really old book from the eighties, he only just turned thirteen two weeks ago and has probably never heard of it ".

"Daaamn! He looks pretty bad for thirteen!".

" Son-of-a-bitch is at our grade level too. But where was I going with this? Oh yes! My plan is to switch the spelling bee word list when no one's looking ".

" And how do you plan to do that?".

" That's where you and Simon come in. One of you will distract the judges and audience and the other will switch the sheets".

He crawled under his bed again and dragged out a thick stack of paper. He walked over and plopped it into Jimmy's lap. Looking at the sheets, He noticed that ,while Gary's cursive signature looked like b.s , his print was impeccable. He read some of the words.

"Ancinemation?".

" The curious act of waiting in line to see a movie and watching exiting movie goers' reactions to see if they liked the movie or not" .

" Dunkinhackin ? ".

" The violent coughing attack caused by inhaling the dust on a powdered donut ".

" Hystioblogination ? ".

" The act of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and shaking it ".

" You know all these? ".

" Yep. Memorized them by heart ".

" You've had too much free time on your hands".

**BAM! BAM! **Someone was pounding on the door. Jimmy got out of bed and answered the door. A tall hall monitor with curly blonde hair and a large bosom stood before him.

" Phone call for Mr. Hopkins" she said, handing him a small, black cell phone. He held the phone up to his ear.

" Hello?".

" Jimmy! Oh Jimmy, I was so worried about you! I just heard about the school fire!"

"…..Mom? ".

" Who the hell else? But never mind. When I got the news, I thought I'd faint! You didn't get hurt or anything did you , baby?".

" Nope. But it sure took you long enough to call. The fire was almost a week ago ".

" I'm on my honeymoon Jimmy. I'm a busy woman. And you know how bad the reception is out here in the middle of the Atlantic ".

" I can hear you perfectly fine right now".

"…. we're closer to land honey ".

" Sure. How's…uh…what's his name?".

" That would be Rodney Clemmons. And he has just been marvellous this whole cruise. Ah, he makes me feel twenty again".

Jimmy groaned and listened as she rambled on for ten minutes about all his romantic gestures and their vacation exploits.

" Mom…okay Mom…..MOM!"

" What is it? ".

" Yeah. That's nice and all. Don't you want to know what I've been doing for the past year ?".

" Hmm? Oh! Right, right. Go ahead ".

" Well, I made friends with a loser and a psycho, I got a girlfriend and I was almost expelled from school again ".

" Jimmy!".

" ALMOST. I said almost. Everything worked out. Then that fire happened and now I'm at Brat-Hog academy. I'm rooming with the same psychopath ".

" I ANI'T NO PYSCHOPATH!" Gary screamed at the top of his lungs. He was standing right behind Jimmy while holding an open bottle of mouth wash." What'chu say'in bout me Jim? Damn dog! Dat's cold ".

" Who's that? ".

" No one Mom. Just a moron "said Jimmy, pushing Gary away with his hand, "who gets off on annoying people ".

" I AIN'T GO'IN BACK TO JAIL!". Gary drank from the bottle and threw it onto the floor. He then proceeded to flash gangster hand signals .

" Gary, cut it out!".

" Please do restrain yourself Mr. Smith" the hall monitor,Misstress Sheila Brown, said calmly, but sternly.

"Jimmy, what the hell is going on there?"

" Nothing Mom".

" Well anyway, I should probably tell you that your new stepfather and I are going on our second honey moon ".

"But I thought you were only going away for a year ".

" Yes, well, plans do change Jimmy. Rodney was just promoted at his job and he's going to be doing a lot of travelling, so I'm going to travel the world with him. Ah, isn't it romantic? ".

" Mom, he's a phony. You know you're just his trophy wife. Just like with Ken. And Frank. And Igor. And-".

" Enough! Can't you just be happy for me? Is that too much to ask? God, I swear sometimes I wish that…never mind. I can see where this is leading. You love starting fights with me".

" Whatever. Have fun with husband number five ".

Just before the line cut off, Jimmy could hear husband number five say " What did that brat say to get you in a snit?" in the background. He sighed heavily and handed the cell phone back to Mistress Sheila Brown. She gave him an envelope in return (which had obviously been opened).

" A letter for you Mr. Hopkins. In case you were wondering, we check all incoming and outgoing mail and omit any use of profanity ".

Jimmy looked at the return address. It was from Zoe. He hurriedly removed the letter from the envelope.

_**Dear Jimmy,**_

_**I would've called, but our phone service was shut off since someone (younger siblings making prank calls to China) ran up a big *** bill. **_

_**Anyhow, I bugged the **** out of Crabblesnot at the hospital for the school address and here we are, I'm writing you a ******* letter.**_

_**Where was I going with this ****? Oh, right, well, right now I just started at both a piece of **** public school and part-time job in Bushy**_

_** Hills (it's about two miles from Blue Skies). I'm working at ' The Burger Butt', which is a greasy **** hole filled with teenagers who want to**_

_** kick my ******* ***. Bushy Hills High is the school I'm going to and it's also a greasy **** hole filled with teenagers who want to kick my**_

_** ******* ***. Instead of cliques, there's gangs here. It's pretty ******* rough here, but I get to fight every day and it's ******* *******_

_** *** awesome ******! I really wish you were here to beat up some **** faced ***** with me. I did go on a date with this red vested dude**_

_** called Scrub, but it's not really the same as being with you. Yeah, I went out with another guy. You can date all the chicks you want there at **_

_**Brat-Hog, I don't give a ****. But if you go any further than hand holding with them, I'm going to **** your *** up so **** hard that you'll **_

_********* **** ****** ******* out of your ******* , so don't be a ****** ******** and start ******* those ******* *****,******,**_

_** ****** ********* *****. If I ****** ****** ***** **** ************ ****** ***, you ****** ******** *** , ***************_

_** *** ****** *** fart sideways. Hope you got all that ,you ****** ******* **** sucker. **_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Zoe.**_

" Are you quite done Mr. Hopkins? ".

" Yes Ma'am. Is there anything else ?".

" No Mr. Hopkins. You are now dismissed Mr. Hopkins ". She turned and walked away in an almost robotic like manner. Jimmy watched her go down the hall, her long blonde curls bobbing up and down. He returned to the dorm to find Gary not only fully dressed, but also singing (off key) into a hairbrush. Jimmy ignored him as he put his clothes on. When done with that, he looked down at his watch and cussed. **7:32 am.**

" Come on, let's get going, I don't wanna miss breakfast".

" Right behind you Jim!" said Gary, picking up a large brown paper bag ,stuffed to the brim with medications, off the floor. It rattled to high hell with every step he took. " Oh, don't mind my little outburst while you were on the phone, that wasn't really mouth wash, only water. I'm not allowed to have mouth wash ".

" Yeah, crazy Gary and doped up Gary are bad enough, I'd hate to see drunk Gary ".

* * *

Later, sitting down to breakfast in their usual spot with Simon, they explained the plan to him. Simon lectured Gary on the evils of cheating and dishonesty. Gary lectured Simon on the evils of being a dingus and a snot-nosed jerk and that he would weld his asshole shut if he didn't help. And that was promise. Simon quickly gave in to Gary's threat.

" So you got it? Jimmy's going to throw a rock through one of auditorium windows. During the commotion, you switch the spelling bee sheets and slip away unnoticed. Okay?".

Simon nodded in agreement.

" But… I really don't feel comfortable with this whole thing. It's a very horrid form bullying I say!".

" Come on, you know Lionel is a pompous and arrogant douche bag. Everyone, including you, hates him".

" Well, I wouldn't say I care for him all that much, but-".

" Great, so you're in. Now let's eat, I'm starving for my mush pile".

**Phew! It's done, I'm not writing anymore for today. You'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter. –XX-THIRST**

**Oh, in case you were wondering:**

**Sniglets: ****Sniglet** is a neologism, popularized by comedian/actor Rich Hall during his tenure on the 1980s HBO comedy series _Not Necessarily the News_. Each episode of the monthly series featured a regular segment on sniglets, which Hall described as "any word that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should". Hall's own sniglets, along with submissions by fans, were compiled into several books, starting with _Sniglets_ and _More Sniglets_.


	8. Chp7 Spelling for Trouble

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make**

**money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality.**

**This chapter contains drug and alcohol refrences ****– XX-THIRST**

…**Chapter 7: Spelling for Trouble**

**6:51 PM. **Jimmy sat in the back row of auditorium, to the far left, rock in hand, seated behind two rows of rowdy Jocks and cheerleaders who were goofing around. He had an extra rock in his pants pocket just in case he missed his aim. He was fine with the plan to smash one of the auditorium windows. He just wished Gary had mentioned that the windows were both very small and very high up. He leaned to the side, making sure Simon was in his position. Jimmy really hoped he would do his part and not screw up, because at the moment, the poor kid was shaking like a scared puppy.

Up on stage, Gary sat bolt upright, staring into space. Lionel sat to his right, on the other side of the stage, with his face buried in a dictionary. Jimmy noticed that he was wearing big, thick glasses despite the fact that he had said he only wore contacts. Ronnie Harper, seated in front of Lionel, chewed on her finger nails. Nigel Wilcox (who's rear end made his chair slightly buckle) and Keith Doe were behind Gary.

John Lewis was behind those two, fast asleep, snoring like a son-of-a bitch. The boy reeked of " mood enhancers" and cheap beer. Robert Hinklesack( with a monstrous amount of hay tangled in his red hair) sat off to the far left of Gary . He appeared to be chewing on his toe nails. Sitting next him was Katey Olson, disgusted. She flipped her long blonde locks as she got up and moved over to another seat. Saturn Rogers was on the far right of the stage. He, like Gary, sat motionless, but suddenly, he jumped up and screamed

" No! I can't do it! I can't compete against my fellow students for material prizes! It goes completely against my free love ideology! I apologize for betraying you all! ".

He hopped off the stage and was greeted by the rest of the hippies, who hugged him and threw a necklace flowers over his head. Jimmy rolled his eyes.

' _Good grief '._

There was a hushed silence upon the entrance of the judges. They were Ms. Timely, Mr. Travelle ( the Geography teacher) and of course, Mr. Phonic. The three sat down behind a long table and Mr. Phonic called out each name of the contestants (and he was informed of Saturn's little outburst). When he called for Kyle Brooder, he was nowhere to be found. After waiting for five minutes, Mr Phonic said

" Well, I suppose we can- ".

Before he could finish, a heavily cologned Kyle jogged onto stage and an uproar of cheers and hoots arose from the Jocks and cheerleaders. He flexed his biceps and beat his chest like a gorilla. His clique chanted his name, getting louder with each shout.

" KYLE! KYLE! KYLE! KYLE!".

' _Now is a good a time as ever '._

And with a great heave, Jimmy hurled that rock. It gracefully sailed through the air and glided through the window, sending a shower of glass cascading to the floor. Girls screamed and guys cursed. Everyone turned in the direction of the noise.

Gary, with a dramatic performance that would've made Shakespeare proud, he shouted " Oh no! Whatever shall we do? I sure hope they don't break another window ".

Jimmy groaned. A very obvious hint. He squatted down and threw his second rock. It crashed through a window as easily as the first one and sent students scurrying like ants. The judges hurried over to survey the damage. Jimmy made his way over to the corner wall to see if Simon was carrying out his end of the plan. He saw the curly blonde haired boy swiftly switch the spelling bee sheets and return to his seat. He breathed a sigh of relief.

' _Hard part's over '._

After a moment, Mr. Phonic calmly strode back to the judges' table . He cleared his throat and said

" Yes, well, with that out of the way, I think we should-".

" Hey, I didn't get to finish my entrance" Kyle protested.

" Mr. Brooder, may I remind you the reason you are here is so that you won't fail my class? And if you don't take your seat immediately, you WILL receive that failing grade. Understood ?".

Kyle plopped into his seat and quietly cursed.

The spelling bee commenced and within an hour , Lionel and Gary had bumped off their competition with ease ( Kyle being the first to go after spelling C.A.T as Q. 3. T ).

" Mr. Nerdstrom, the next word is…" . Mr. Phonic paused. " ….Shuggleftulation? What is this? This has to be some kind of joke!".

Ms. Timely leaned over and read it as well.

" Hmm. Well, the head mistress does write the list, so it's probably legit ".

Mr. Travelle mumbled some sort agreement.

" Great!" said Mr. Phonic, throwing his hands up." It starts out as a harmless colloquialism , but then it spreads, corrupting an entire language! ".

He sighed, trying to regain his composure. He read the sniglet through gritted teeth and with utter disgust.

" Mr. Nerdstrom. Your word is…ugh…Shuggleftulation".

Lionel tensed and his mouth became dry. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead.

" Uuuh…umm…err..uh..S. H. U G. G. L. E. …F. T. U . L. A. T. I. O .N. Shuggleftulation".

" Correct" grumbled Mr. Phonic, unenthusiastically.

Gary snapped his finger and whispered "Damn. Lucky bastard ".

Gnarmblum, Sniffleridge, Wondracide, Carperpetuation and Lactomangulation were read next, all of which Lionel struggled through. Gary easily breezed through other sniglets. Then they came to Premblememblemation. Lionel became pale and began to stutter.

"puh…puh..uh…puh… P. R . E. M. B. L. E. M….. M. A. T. I. O.N ? ".

" Oh, I'm sorry Nerdstrom, that's incorrect " said Ms. Timely.

" NO! I'm never incorrect! I never lose the spelling bee! ".

Lionel then angrily ran off stage with snot dripping from his nose. After a long , awkward silence, Mr. Phonic cleared his throat and declared Gary the winner. The students clapped and cheered as the boy bowed, jumped off the stage and cartwheeled up the aisle to where Jimmy sat. He greeted the spelling bee champion shaking his head.

" And you called Lionel arrogant ".

" Hey, can't a guy have a little fun ?".

Simon came jogging behind Gary.

" Good show! But I do say, I wish you had gone by this more honestly. My God… I aided in a crime!".

" I aided in a crime! Oh boo hoo, Simon" Gary mocked. " Come on, let's go celebrate with some sodas ".

* * *

**8:15 pm**. Gary, Jimmy and Simon were sitting in a soda and ice cream shop in COURT YARD B3. Gary had protested that because he had won the spelling bee, he should be treated to a soda. Jimmy called him a jerk and told him that he wasn't going to pay for his damn soda and besides, he didn't have any money anyway. Eventually, Simon offered to pay. And there they sat, discussing how they were going to switch the cast list for the school play next Saturday.

" So Lionel is obviously going to be Romeo and Kody will play Juliet for one brief scene " Jimmy said. He sipped on a cherry fizzer. " Who's going to be Juliet for the rest of play?".

" Beats me. Even I haven't figured that out yet " . Gary gulped down his strange concoction of chocolate, lime and pomegranate soda mixed with pickle juice and rainbow sprinkles. He belched loudly, which made Jimmy laugh and Simon cringe.

" Goodness me, how rude! You chastise Jimmy and me for not praying before we eat, but you go and do that! ".

Gary ignored him and continued his conversation with Jimmy.

" But I do know that I'm going to be Juliet's father and you're going to be a couch ".

" A couch? Why do I have to be a couch? ".

" The drama teacher Mr. Dramaz has this weird thing against props, he prefers ' interactive props ' . People dressed as trees, rocks, chairs, that kind of stuff. It's really retarded ".

" I'll say. But still, why do I have to be a couch?".

" Because you're fat enough to be one".

" I'm not fat, damn it! And if I have to be a couch, then you have to be a tree".

" No way am I going to be a tree! That's beneath me!".

" Then why is it okay for me?".

" Because you're different".

" Oh please, you should talk ".

" Forget it. I gotta use the pot ". Gary drank the last of his disgusting drink and headed for the bathroom.

Jimmy quickly followed behind .

* * *

**1:30 am. **Jimmy awoke to Gary angrily pacing in circles and mumbling to himself.

' _Oh crap, here we go again '. _

He began punching holes in the wall while cussing violently.

" Whoa, Gary!".

He ran over and grabbed Gary by the waist. He struggled keep hold of him as Gary thrashed about wildly and screamed like a maniac. He bit Jimmy on the arm.

" OW! Shit!" Jimmy exclaimed. " You sure have a thing for biting! ".

He managed to pull Gary off him. He held the crazy's arms behind his back. Gary broke loose and Jimmy proceeded to chase him around the room for the rest of the night.

* * *

**7:28 am. **Jimmy ate breakfast with Gary and Simon. He groggily stared at his bowl of cereal and nodded off. Gary's punch to the shoulder jolted him awake.

" Hopkins, no trips to dream land. We've got a long day ahead ".

" Coming from the guy who kept me up all night ".

" Pssh, so you lost a few hours of sleep. I didn't sleep and I feel fine".

" That's because you're the crazy one".

The two bickered back and forth about who was crazier while Simon tried to ignore them, quietly chewing on scrambled eggs and toast. He reached for his orange juice when Gary rudely snatched it up and chugged down the drink.

" Hey! That was mine , you buffoon! Must you steal everything I drink and eat? Can you not be content with your own meal? ".

" Nope" Gary said whilst also stealing from Jimmy's plate. He put the food on top of his hodge-podge of a breakfast( at best guess, it was a mashed up pile of chocolate brownies, cheese fries, onions, rock candy, chicken strips, carrots and pancakes drizzled with strawberry syrup). Both Jimmy and Simon nearly hurled at the sight of him gobbling up the horrid meal.

Ending with a belch, he got up and dragged Jimmy by the hand.

" First class we have is art, taught by the 'wonderful' Mr. Dramaz . Not only does he not believe in using props, he also doesn't like us to use paint brushes, but rather our fingers, toes and other body parts. The guy's a frick'in nut".

" Like looking a mirror, huh? ".

Jimmy laughed as Gary's mouth scrunched into an angry frown and his forehead crinkled.

**Yep, that's it it for now because I'm tired. –XX-thirst.**

**By the way, in case you were wondering, the following sniglets are:**

**Shuggleftulation**** : noun (shug lef tuyl AY shun) The action of two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and muttering "thanks for the dance."**

**Gnarmblum: (noun) (NARM blum) The dry wrinkly area at the end of the elbow.**

**Sniffleridge: ****(noun) (SNIF ul rij) The trough leading from the nose to the upper lip.**

**Wondracide****: (noun) (WUN druh side) The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.**

**Carperpetuation: (noun) (KAR pur pet u a shun) The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum ONE MORE CHANCE.**

**Lactomangulation: (noun) (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.**

**Premblememblemation: (noun) (prim blum em blum AY shun) Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always re-check to make sure it's gone down.**


	9. Chp8 The Great Switch

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make** **money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. – XX-THIRST**

…**Chapter 8: The Great Switch**

Mr. Dramaz ( a tall and thin man with a black pointy beard and platinum blonde hair) stood before his art class ( who all stood in a circle rather than sit in chairs ) . He fiddled with the handkerchief in his pants pocket before clapping his hands together and saying

" Welcome….welcome, welcome , welcome all. Ah, I can't WAIT for all of you to try out these new paints I just ordered. Hmm…oh! The new student. James something-or-other. You get first go ".

He tossed a tube of green poster at Jimmy. The boy stared at it quizzically, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with it. He then squirted the green goop onto the large canvas sheet in the middle of the room and spread it around with his fingers . When done, Mr. Dramaz exasperated

" Look at that! … Hapkins? Hopper? Whatever it is, my goodness, what inspired you?".

" Hell if I know ".

"Mmm. Hell if I know. Hell if I know. Hell if I know ".

He repeated the phrase several more times.

" This young man is truly inspiring. And here I thought I had seen everything now that I'm in my mid f….thirties. Class, we have an artistic genius here! ".

Jimmy saw Gary's face humorously scrunch into an angry scowl upon him being called a genius. HE was the only one deserving of that title. So Gary thought. And Jimmy enjoyed the irritation it was causing him.

"That was nothing . Watch this!" said Gary, removing his shoes and socks. He dunked his right big toe into a bucket of blue paint. The lumpy shape later produced , as he proudly proclaimed, was a foot painted with a foot.

Dramaz gleefully cheered " Impressive! Looks like we have two geniuses in this class! ".

As the rest of the class dove in to splatter the canvas, Gary whispered to his fellow ' artistic genius '

" Don't start feeling all high and mighty, Dramaz is impressed by anything ".

" You're just pissed because you can't draw".

" This means war , Jimmy! Just you watch! I'm the competition from hell! ".

And he certainly wasn't bluffing. He competed with Jimmy in Geography by trying to name more capitals than him( they came to a tie), shoved him during dodge ball, jumped ahead of him in the lunch line and finished eating quicker than him. When in Shop class ( which was conveniently merged with Home Economics ), Jimmy finally confronted the sour faced boy.

" What the hell is your problem? ".

Gary's only reply was a raspberry (that sprayed Jimmy's face with warm spit) and he swiftly shot up a middle finger. He suddenly giggled and guffawed

" Ha! Har! Har!Har! You fell for it! Me? Jealous of you? Gwa! Ha! Ha! Ha! ".

" Geez, tone it down. God, Gary, you're just…sad ".

" Screw you. Now, we're switching those cast lists tonight. The regular list is in the teachers' lounge, but the door is heavily guarded by hall monitors. So we'll get in through the window. I hope you learned a lot from all that rope climbing in gym because that's what we're going to be doing ".

" Exactly how do you plan to get the rope up there? ".

" Oh dumb, ignorant Hopkins. I think you've taken one too many beatings to the head. You attach a grappling hook to the end, DUUUUUHHHH. And you're going to be the one making it today in here in shop class ".

" Why me?...hey, are you telling me you suck at shop? ".

"Can it, Jimmy ! It's part of my stupid therapy program. I have to admit my faults and become more…ugh…humble ".

At that moment, Mr. Jonathan Wood (a handsome young man , barely in his twenties) loudly said to a student

" Now Mikey, you really need to get these grades up. What would your mom say?".

" Just because your dad knocked up my mom, doesn't mean you can patronize me" the kid muttered back.

" Patronize? Using big words now? I guess you do have some brains under all that hair " Mr. Wood sneered , lifting some of Mike's waist length, black hair with the very tips of his finger. The two continued to fire fierce words back and forth while the class could only watch in awkward silence.

" Shit, what's their beef? " Jimmy asked Gary.

" Half-brothers. John's dad had a fling with a bartender and it resulted in Michael Berginhiem being born. John tries to play the big brother role, but as you can see, he sucks ass at it. Heh. If no one stops them, they can go all day ".

" So what do we do? ".

" Normally I would just let them go at it, but since tonight's the only night when we can switch those lists...".

Gary stood up from his seat, cleared his throat and said

" Uh, Mr. Wood, as much as we'd all love to just sit back and let you two bicker, we'd really be missing out on some fine education. And what would the headmistress say if I told her you were here arguing with a student instead of teaching us? I hear she's sharpened her whip recently...".

John became flustered and straightened his tie. And with that, he began class. He stressed the importance of wearing safety gear, team work and other things that went straight over most of the students' heads. They paired off in groups of two, Gary and Jimmy being stuck with each other of course. The former handed Jimmy some metal rods, rope and a metal bender.

" Here, you'll need these. I think. I saw it in a book once".

" This isn't all that hard to do. Okay, first we'll need sharpen the ends of these rod. Hand me a knife".

"I'm not allowed to use knifes or anything sharp. That stupid leather cow's rule" Gary irefully mutter.

"Ugh. Understandable, but inconvenient. We'll just have to make do. Alright, let's bend these rods in a bow shape. Take the ends of each rod and turn them upward into an "L" shape. Bring the top of the 'L' back over toward the main part of the rod. The more the ends resemble hooks or barbs, the better your grappling hook will be, see? Make a cross shape out of the two rods by placing one rod on top of the other. Tie the two rods securely together. The rods should be completely immobile ".

Gary carefully watched every move, taking in every instruction.

" Now we attach the rope to the center of the two rods and...done! A grappling hook ".

" Excellent! Thank...you... grrr... Jimmy... for... teaching... urgh …me ...how...to…eggh ". Gary struggled with his rare act of politeness, the words obviously forced out. "...God damn it...makeagrapplinghook,THERE! Bah! I said thank you!".

Jimmy smiled and thanked him for being a good student, all the while thinking that he must be in some bizarre, parallel dimension.

* * *

**7:30 PM.** Gary and Jimmy stood just below a small window, three stories up from them. The plan was for Jimmy to throw the grapple up onto the flower box, climb the rope into the teachers' lounge, switch the cast lists and bolt the hell out of there , while Gary stood down below as a look out.

_' Pff! Of course he wants the easy part! '._

" Here's our revised cast list, Hopkins. The other one should be either up on a bulletin board or in a desk ".

" How would you know?"

" James, have you not learned yet that I am VERY observant? You just have to listen to what the teachers say when they think no one's around. And another thing. I know we've been through this, but why do we have to be stage hands for the second act? ".

" Grr! Like I told you already, it's so that we can give Kody the signal to switch with the real Juliet. He's not going to remember on his own, he's stoned most of time. I just wish he'd forget about that date...".

" Oh boo,hoo, quit yapping and get up the rope, fatso".

As Gary turned away, he felt a sharp kick to his ass.

"Ow! What the f-!".

"You know, you're really lucky I'm not reporting this to Brunhilda..." said Jimmy, swinging the grapple.

With one large motion, he swung ,the hook launched and latched onto the flower box. He hoisted himself up onto the rope and made the long climb up. At the top, he carefully lifted up the window, his shirt sleeves covering his hands, looking for any trip wires or alarms. Seeing none, he slid down into the dark lounge ( this certainly wasn't his first act of breaking and entering). From the moonlight peering in, he saw a bulletin board and examined it. No cast list. He spotted a maple wood desk to his left and opened one of the drawers. Bingo, there it was! He took out the sheet and slipped in the other list. But before doing so, he made sure to memorize who was who.

Romeo: Lionel Nerdstrom. Juliet: Daisy May , Billy May's younger sister . Juliet's father: Juno Shoelaces Kraz . A hippie who didn't wear shoes. Romeo's mother: Lindsey Morris, the fattest of the cheerleading squad, as Gary had described her. Trees and rocks: Keith Doe, Nigel Wilcox, Ronnie Harper, Robert Hinklesack, Daniel Bay( a jock and secretly a nerd). Furniture: Faith Manson, Heather Peeper, Olivia Banks(blonde, brunette, redhead, all cheerleaders, all brainless, all pissed about having to be furniture). Stagehands: All the geeks , Gary and Jimmy.

Jimmy quickly tip toed back across the room. He slipped through the window again and climbed down the rope. He was grateful, and somewhat surprised, to see Gary still at his post, having expected him to either run away or report him to the school authorities.

" Took you long enough , Hopkins. Thought you had run off and ratted me out ".

" Funny. I was thinking you'd do the same".

" What? You don't trust me? ".

" Not at all ".

" Hmf! Good. You shouldn't. You don't know shit about me, James. I'm only behaving because I don't want to end up in a rubber room again. But if we were in a different environment...".

He stopped. His ears twitched, picking up the sound of a girl crying. Jimmy heard it as well and headed off in the direction of the noise while Gary puffed behind ,muttering

" Oh great, ' Hero Hopkins' off to help a damsel in distress ".

* * *

The two peaked around the corner of a wall and saw Gwen sobbing whilst Lionel sarcastically read aloud ,from what looked like a diary, to a group of students.

" Oh Dearest Journal, mere words cannot express what I feel for Lionel. I'm shocked that others think him to have the persona of some sort of pompous, evil, tyrannical overlord…"

"You just figured that out? "Jimmy mummered.

"…but I know underneath that, there's a kind and sensitive young male. I have to get him to notice me, to hold me, to share long protein strings…".

" You've got to be kidding me " said Gary, burying his face into the palm of his hand.

" He's the one for me, I just know it! Pff!". Lionel tossed the dairy over his shoulder. It landed in a mud puddle and Gwen cried even more.

" That diary was a birthday gift from my mom!".

" Then ask her to buy you another one , you loathsome fool. My God, I can't believe I'm surrounded by such incompetent-".

A curvy ,freckled faced girl came bonding pass him, her mousy brown pigtails flopping up and down. She turned to him and, in her think country accent, quipped

" What'chall do'in heer? Weez hav'in sum kinda pary? ".

Lionel blushed beet red and stammered " H…h…h…hi…hi…d…d…duh…duh…daaaaa…Daisy…ha…ho…how…arr rrrrrrr…..are…y…y…y…yooouuuu….? ".

"Aw, ain't cha cute. But what'chall do'in now? ".

" N…n…n…nothing in…in…eh…eh..interrr….resting…I…ah…ah…ah… I… wu…wu…wus jussss…st…leaving…noooo…..ooow ".

And he scampered away, while everyone else left as well. Gwen still stood where she was, no longer crying, but clenching her fists tightly.

Gary began walking away ,saying" Ah well, that was fun, now time to be off ".

" I don't know Gary, I don't just wanna leave her like that ".

" Don't tell me you feel sorry for Zit Girl".

"Yeah, I do, so what? Come on " Jimmy grumbled, roughly pulling Gary by the wrist and dragging him over to the girl. Gwen crossed arms at the sight of them.

" Are you here to mock me too? You'll be disappointed, I have no more tears left to shed ".

" Nope, I just...well, I just wanted to do something to make you feel better ".

" And I just got dragged over here by your white knight ".

Her eyebrows raised, she was taken back. No one outside of family had been this nice to her.

" You really mean it?... this isn't some kind of stupid joke, right? ".

" Nope. I mean it. What would make you feel better?".

She placed a finger on her chin, thinking for a moment.

" Well...hmm...I've got it! One of you could go on a date with me! Monday, 6:30 pm ".

Both boys cringed.

" Any better ideas? " they said simultaneously.

" Hey! No date with me means that I tell the Headmistress you broke into the teachers' lounge AND I tell Lionel what you're planning to do to him during the school play. How does that sound ? " she purred, her mouth forming into an evil grin.

" Damn, Zit Girl. You're driving a hard bargain. What do we get out of this?".

" Oh, really, we're going to go down that route? All right then, go on a date with me and you get my personal Sling Slot 5000. I made it myself. It's the sling shot of the future, with a laser sight, increased range and it fires three rounds at a time. What do you say?".

Gary and Jimmy turned away and whispered to each other. Try as they might, neither could find any physically redeeming qualities about Gwen. A dull brown, boyish haircut. Buck teeth. Zits everywhere. And an annoying voice to boot, she sounded like a duck on crack (according to Gary).

" Jimmy, you got us into this shit, you go on the date ".

" I already have a date Kody at the same time, which by the way, is your fault! ".

" Don't go bringing that up again! Besides, you could use a little action ".

" Hey, I got a girlfriend. You're the one who hasn't had date since he was twelve".

Gary's whole body stiffened. He then growled " Who told you that? " so hard, that he practically ground his teeth into dust.

" Oh, just a little drugged up birdy ".

" Why you-!"

They stopped talking when they saw Simon off in the distance. They called out his name and he happily skipped over.

" Jolly good evening ".

" Say, Femme Boy 2, would like you to do us a favor? ".

" What is it? And please, do stop calling me that ".

" Sure fem-….er, Simon. You see, our friend Gwen here wants a date for Monday night, but since neither Jimmy nor I are willing to jump on that grenade, we thought , you know, you could take one for the team? ".

" But I have to study for a math test!".

" Ugh, come on. Are you really turning down a date for homework?! ".

" But isn't that what both of you are doing? ".

" He's kind of right, Gary ".

Gwen impatiently tapped her foot.

" Well? I'm waaaaaaiiiiitttting….".

The three boys stared at each other worriedly and swallowed hard.

**Ah,finally done! So, who will go on a date with Gwen? Will Jimmy try to go back and forth between her and Kody? Will Gary whisk her away to downtown? Or maybe Simon will actually skip doing homework?. -XX-THIRST**


	10. Chp9 Dates and Nuts

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. **

**I do not make** **money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. – XX-THIRST**

**Chapter 9 Dates and Nuts:**

Simon's expression became stern as he said to the other boys " Oh gosh, I guess it's me ". He stepped forward.

" My dear Gwen, I shall take it upon myself to go on this date with you ". He bowed very gentleman like.

Gary whispered to Jimmy " Well now, looks like Simon's grown a pair of balls ".

Simon yelled over his shoulder " I heard that! ". Then turning back towards Gwen, he said " Are you willing to accept? ".

" Hmmm ... I don't intend to offend you by any means. I'm normally attracted to those with a higher I.Q...".

" No offence taken at all ".

" But after analyzing my chances of ever being presented with an opportunity such as this again, which are quite slim might I say, I am more than happy to go on this outing with you ".

" By golly, I'm chuffed to bits! Do you have any place in mind where you would like to go? ".

" There's a nice park in town, between Smith Street and Langley Lane, where I like to study the constellations. Meet me there at six thirty PM ".

She patted Simon on the head and left.

" Impressive, Simon" said Gary, strolling over to him. " Even if she is butt ugly and desperate as hell ".

" I'm just being mannerly. Unlike you two who...".

" Hey!" Jimmy interrupted. " I couldn't go because Gary already set up a date for me. Against my will …".

" Please, you're going to whine about that again? Quit bitching ".

" Don't be an ass".

" Your face looks like an ass ".

" You should talk ".

" I don't look like my face was beaten in with an ugly stick".

" I don't have bad breath like you do ".

" Well...uh... at least I'm not short! ".

" I'm not a pompous know-it-all! ".

" I'm not a Neanderthal! ".

" I'm not over compensating for something! ".

" You suck! ".

" You're a jerk! ".

" You smell! ".

" Asshole! ".

" Idiot! ".

" Moron! ".

" Imbecile! ".

" Knave! ".

" What did you say ? ".

" Knave. An unprincipled, untrustworthy or dishonest person. It's a medieval term for a jerk ".

" Oh I know what it means" growled Gary. " But how would YOU of all people know a word like that? ".

" I'm not as dumb as you think, Gary. Why do you always have to insult people's intelligence anyway ? ".

He didn't answer Jimmy's question and turned his attention to Simon.

" So, Femme Boy the Second, don't screw up this date by speaking in dork talk. Try to sound half normal ".

" For the last time, it's British English, not dork talk! And Gwen didn't seem to mind my accent, so you can belt up! ".

" No one tells me to belt up, whatever that means!".

" It means 'Shut up' ".

" Screw you. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah! You're getting that Sling Shot 5000 for us. And if you don't, we'll kick your ass back across the Atlantic. So don't speak like an idiot ".

" I am not an idiot! And you're not nearly as smart as you think are...".

Gary's face quickly become crimson red. He shot Simon a glare that would frighten the devil himself.

The British boy timidly responded "...never mind then" and ran away. He turned back around to face Jimmy, snickering.

" Heh, heh, heh...I really made the little squirt piss his pants. That sling shot is ours for sure ".

" Ours ? ".

" Yeah, ours. We're stuck as room mates for a while, might as well share".

" I'm not sharing anything with you ".

" What, afraid you'll get my cooties? ".

" I'm afraid of getting Gary-itetis. And God only knows what you would do with it ".

" You don't trust me? What, you think I'm going to go on some kind of rampage? ".

" Actually...". Jimmy slowly rubbed his chin." Now that I think about it, a sling shot in your hands isn't too much of a threat. You can't aim for shit ".

" I can too aim for shit! ". He scooped up a pebble and chucked it at Jimmy. The pebble sailed straight over the boy's head.

" This proves nothing " said Gary, pointing. " Bah, screw you Hopkins, let's get back to the dorms ".

* * *

**3:34 AM. **Gary lay on his back, wide awake, hands behind his head and having trouble sleeping. He always had trouble sleeping, thanks to that reoccurring nightmare. He purposely snored (loudly) to not let on. And to amuse himself with the visible irritation that it caused Jimmy, almost laughing out at the boy angrily tossing back and forth. After some minutes though, he grew bored and decided to distract himself by thinking of the day he first met Simon.

* * *

It had been a cloudy Tuesday. He was just exiting the Headmistress's office ( rubbing his sore ass from her 'special treatment ' ) when he was greeted by a blonde, curly haired boy , about ya-high, sporting a white dress shirt underneath a pale green plaid vest and gray slacks. He looked up at Mr. Smith and chirped

" Hello, I'm Simon Perry. Welcome to Brat-Hog Academ-".

" Can it, Brit " Gary interrupted, walking past. Simon trailed after him.

" Wait! I'm new here too, I just started attending a week ago. Why don't we be friends? ".

Gary blew a raspberry in his face, spraying the poor kid with chalk scented spit.

" Ugh, what was that for now? ".

" You annoy me ".

" Pardon? How so? ".

" You're an idiot. Idiots annoy me ".

" What? I most certainly am not! I'll have you know that-".

Simon was hit in the back of the head by a crumpled piece of paper. A group of burly Jocks laughed at him ,mocked his British accent and made obscene remarks. Gary joined in their fun until they began to make comments about his scar. Then he didn't think it was funny anymore.

" Beh, bunch of dumb apes " he snarled. Then, his mouth widening into a toothy grin and his eyebrows raising, he whispered, just loudly enough for them to hear, " Hey...how about I demonstrate how I got this scar, hmm? ".

The jocks quickly backed away in the other direction. Simon turned to Gary in surprise.

" My goodness, how did you do that?".

" Do what?".

" How ever did you scare them off like that? ".

" Simon, when your intellect is as developed as mine, you know what installs fear into your enemies. You have to observe them closely. You have to... wait, why the hell am I telling you this? You wouldn't understand, you pea-brained half-wit " .

" I am nothing of the sort. What a load cobblers! You're off your trolley " .

" Then stop talking like that ".

" Talking like what? ".

Gary didn't reply. He walked away and Simon followed him, repeating his question. He followed the boy all the way back to the dorms, much to Gary's annoyance. He still didn't answer Simon's question, but rather went about unpacking his things once in his designated room. There wasn't much to unpack. A spare pair of underpants and a scraggly toothbrush from Happy Volts. A school uniform had already been laid out across the bed for him. He sighed at his lack property. Simon looked upon the sorry sight as well.

" Not much to speak of. A light packer you are? ".

" None of your business. Piss off. I'm going out for some air ".

" But-".

" I said piss off! Are you retarded or something? Go away!"

" But-".

" What the hell is your problem? I've just insulted you a million times and you're still following me. Do you LIKE pissing me off? Do you LIKE getting beat up? I used to know this moron with the same problem. Sad guy. Kept hanging around me no matter how many times I abused the little jerk-off. He was scared shitless of me, but still hung around. Like he enjoyed it or something. Is that what's wrong with you? ".

" No, but I-".

Gary quickly left the dorm room and wandered around the halls, hoping to lose the pesky Brit. He eventually came outside to one of the court yards and walked about for sometime. Unfortunately, the clouds blackened and spewed buckets of rain. His clothes were soon soaked and he grumbled. He turned and came to face Simon, who was offering him an open umbrella.

" I just want to be friends , that's all. And I thought you might need this ".

Gary stared down at him, confused. This boy was odd. Something was just so odd about him. He hadn't been afraid of his scar orany of his outbursts. No one had ever been this friendly to him. Maybe it was his natural paranoia at work, but this bothered himhorribly. What were this Simon Perry's motives? He decided then and there that he would observe and analyze him from now on.

There had to be some kind of dirt on this kid. It could work to his advantage. He took the umbrella from him and flashed his evil Gary grin.

" Yes, Simon. I think you and I can be friends...".

* * *

And the memory faded as Gary finally drifted off to sleep. But that reoccurring nightmare began soon after he closed his eyes. He miserably groaned in his sleep.

* * *

**Ugh, that's it for today, I am very tired. And no, that scene in the rain wasn't yaoi or whatever it's called. – XX-THIRST**


	11. Chp10 Shower Me With Stars

**This is your NEW school**

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. **

**I do not make****money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. **

**I haven't been feeling well. Whatever. – XX-THIRST**

**Chapter 10 : Shower Me With Stars**

**Monday morning**. Jimmy slowly rose from slumber, eager for a new day. Then he remembered he had to spend it with Gary. And he found the aforementioned young man sitting at the edge of his bed, a wide grin painted across his face. A smiling Gary was never a good sign.

" Okay Gary, what is it ? ".

" Oh, not much … just a letter from Femme Boy the first. One of the hall monitors delivered it about a minute ago ".

He pulled the letter out from the already opened envelope.

" Deeeaarrr Jimmy, I wuuuuuv you " he pretended to read in a poor imitation of Pete Kowalski's voice. " I wanna marry youuuu. At our wedding, I'm gonna wear a purty pink dress with lots of flowies in my hair and lots of make-up and- ".

" Give me that! " said Jimmy, snatching away the paper. " Holy shit Gary, can you NOT be annoying for more than two seconds? ".

" You call it annoyance, I call it honesty ".

" Honest like Jack the Ripper " he mumbled and read the letter to himself.

.

**Dear Jimmy, **

**How are you doing at your new school? Crabblesnitch gave me the address two days ago and so, yeah, I wrote this letter. Anyway, after Bullworth burned down, my parents decided to home-school me from now on. At least I won't have to be subjected to wedgies, swirlies and kicks to the groin from stupid old Gary anymore, right?**

**Best regards,**

**Pete **

" He writes how he talks... ".

" Come on, what does it say ? " Gary asked, in the tone of an impatient child.

" I'm not telling you anything ".

" And why not? ".

" Because it's my letter. Addressed to me. If you want to read one, go get someone to write to you ".

" F you Hopkins, Femme Boy's my friend too ".

" More like your human punching bag ".

" Keep it up James. Keep it up and I'm going to... ".

" Going to what? Beat me up ? Yeah, that worked out really well for you last time. You're every bit as stuck as I am in this hell hole. I just don't have to pop pills all the time".

" Pssh, you don't know anything about popping pills ".

Actually, he had some idea of what it was like. At some point, when he was eight or nine, his mother had taken him to a psychologist who tried to prescribed him an antidepressant. Relaxadrill or something because he was ' acting out ' . But his mother quickly discovered that having a heavily medicated son around was a bit of a turn off for the men she brought home and immediately took him off the medication, much to Jimmy's relief, more or less. It took about six months to ween him off the crap. And while he was lost in this memory, Gary had managed to grab away the letter and read it.

He was silent for a moment before gripping the paper, muttering

"...stupid old Gary ? Stupid old Gary ? Huh! A lot of nerve he has, calling me stupid. Who does he think he is? Obnoxious little fu... egh! ".

He threw the letter to the floor and plopped onto his bed while mumbling curses.

" He could've called you a lot worse things than stupid...".

Gary threw a comb at him.

" I'm not stupid! " he screamed. He then flopped backwards, laughing and smacked himself on the forehead.

" Oh Jimmy. Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Almost had me there. Ugh , the meds are wearing off ".

He grabbed an orange bottle off of the nightstand and dumped sixteen blue horse pills into his hand. Jimmy watched with amazement and curiosity as Gary

downed them all without the aid of water. Then he remembered that medication list he had been given.

_' Shit, he's not over dosing, is he ? What was he supposed to take sixteen of ? Maybe I should just ask... but that would make him suspicious. Crap... I hate having to babysit stupid Gary '._

Despite the slight paranoia, he asked anyway.

" What drug is that ? ".

" Huh ? ".

" What are you taking ? What's it called ? ".

" Why the hell do you want to know ? ".

" Because I just do, that's why ".

" You're better off not knowing ".

" Why am I better off not knowing ? ".

In a rare turn of events, Gary froze, not having a snarky come back. The gears in his brain churned painfully, attempting to conjure up some witty response. He had been verbally backed into a corner. He didn't like it. Finally, he responded to Jimmy's question by calling him a dim-wit and blew him a raspberry.

" Yeah, that's really mature... you still didn't answer my question. And I'm going to keep bugging you about it until you give me a straight answer. So. What's the name of the drug you took and what's it for ? ".

And he repeated the question over and over as Gary gathered up his shampoo, his soap , his towel and headed for a shower.

* * *

Much like Bullworth, the boys' dorm at Bra-Hog didn't have private bathrooms, but rather communal showers and toilets. Compared to the rest of the school, the bathroom was rather plain looking with it's off white and pale green tiled floors. The unique acidic musk of male sweat, male urine and cheap after shave hung thick in the air, like pea soup. Teenage boys lumbered about (most of them half awake) chatting about sports, girls they made out with ( or boys, depending on their orientation ) and homework. They also nicked themselves while shaving.

Kyle Brooder was drenching himself in ' Ballz of Steel ' cologne while he conversed with his buddy, Freddy Kent. He was going on about girls and basketball, the only two topics that didn't make his puny jock brain explode.

" Aw man, I don't know what the hell to do Freddy. Jamie asked if she and I could go to town at the new ice cream place tonight. But then I started thinking that Faith was looking pretty hot, so I asked her to meet me at Glen's Burgers. I didn't tell Jamie of course, she'd get all mad and stuff, like alotta girls do. Then I remembereded that we had basketball practice stuff tonight. Damn it, I don't know if I should go out with Jamie, she's my girlfriend and all, or if I should blow her off and out with Faith, she's got big boobs and stuff, or if I should go to practice. What do you think ? ".

Kyle obviously wasn't verbally gifted. Freddy ( a button nosed, freckled faced, squinty eyed blond with a light brown complexion ) shrugged in response.

" You could go out with Jamie for an hour at the ice cream place, then sneak off and hang out with Faith ".

Freddy was the smarter one out of the two.

" Hey , that's a great idea! Boy, you sure are smart, Fred. But not like super smart, like a nerd, you know ? ".

" Gee, thanks " said Freddy, his reply lightly dusted with sarcasm. Kyle slapped his pal on the back and proceeded to paint himself with another bucket's worth of nasty cologne.

* * *

Mean while, Gary stood in only a bath towel, facing a smudgy mirror, leaning over a sink, trying to shave away his morning five 'o clock shadow while Jimmy continued to berate him with the same question. He ignored the teenage midget for as long as he could until he couldn't take it anymore and growled

" Enough , Hopkins! ".

" What's the name of the drug you took and what's it for ? ".

" Okay James. If you keep asking me that... ", he let his towel drop to the floor , " you're going to have get an eye full of Gary Smith in all his glory! ".

Jimmy recoiled in disgust at the sight of a naked Gary. He quickly covered his eyes, which were now soiled with the horrifying image of the boy in his birthday suit.

" If you stop asking me , I'll put the towel back on " he smirked. To his surprise, Jimmy was now snickering and he frowned, not amused by his reaction.

" What's so funny ? ".

" Is this your way of telling me that the drug is for... ahem... enhancing your downstairs ? ".

A few other boys over heard the remark and laughed their asses off. Gary angrily scooped up his towel in a huff and stomped into a shower, slamming the stall door behind him. Jimmy entered the shower next to that one and asked the same question again. And again. And again. Gary was soon snarling profanities and yelling at him to stop. When he exited the stall, Jimmy was standing there and greeted him with the question. Finally, Gary had enough and screamed

" All right! All right! I'll tell you ,damn it! ".

He pulled Jimmy into the shower with him and turned the water on full blast.

" Fine. You want to know so bad ? I'll tell you. It's Laxatran. A stool softener to counteract the constipation that Floron causes, which I have to take to counteract the diarrhea Angertrex causes, which I have to take to counteract the mood swings Exzumdrill causes, which I have to take to counteract the eczema Hemdrol causes, which I have to take to counteract the hemorrhoids Acnrah causes, which I have to take to- ".

" Okay, okay, you don't need to list every medication you take. Now was that so hard to tell me ? ".

" It wasn't necessary to annoy the hell out of me ".

" You do that to me all the damn time ".

Someone knocked on the stall door. It was a beefy , red-haired jock called Brent Kohmer.

" Hey, I don't judge, but maybe it isn't , like, a good idea to make out in the shower when their a bunch of other people in the bathroom ? " .

Gary shoved Jimmy out of the stall and said " Hopkins here is a perv, he followed me inside ".

" Did not! Screw you Gary! " he yelled, kicking the door and almost breaking it. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Simon there in plaid green pajamas. They looked to be a tad big for him.

" Hello , top of the morning to you, Jimmy ".

" Morning , Simon. You know, I don't think I've ever actually seen you here in the dorm bathroom ".

" Yes, well, truth be told..." ,he lowered his voice to a whisper , " … I try to get in here very early in the morning when no one else is round so that I don't get roughed up, eh ? I just came back because it seems I've forgotten my hairbrush ".

" Which one are you are looking for, Femme Boy 2 ? The glittery pink one ? " said Gary, leaving the shower stall and not bothering to dry off.

" No ,Gary " Simon said sneered. He picked a hair brush up off of a counter top. " The normal looking green one " .

He turned to leave, only to collide with Kyle. The skinny English kid was sent flying backwards and landed on his ass.

" Woah, look where you're going , pip-squeak. What's with the curls ? Heh, heh, heh, ha, ha , ha, you look down right ... uh... what's the word ? Umm ... girly! That's it, girly. With that hair style, you look like Shirley Temple ".

The entire bathroom roared with laughter. He was right ( for once ). Even Jimmy couldn't contain himself, covering his mouth to conceal the grin on his face. Kyle then went on to make fun of Jimmy's short stature. Jimmy's grin quickly faded and he punched Kyle in the stomach. The two were soon punching, kicking and wrestling each other with every other guy in the room goading them on. Except for Simon, he pleaded for them to cease fighting. Everyone's voices however were eventually drowned out by the sound of a loud whistle being blown. A hall monitor rushed into the bathroom. Most of the boys screamed like little girls as they tried to cover their half-nakedness.

" What's all the commotion about in here ?! " bellowed the hefty thirty something.

" Uh ...er... Kyle slipped and fell. I was helping him up. Right, Kyle ? " said Jimmy.

" I didn't sl- ".

" Really , Mr. Hopkins ? ".

" Really ".

" I didn't sl- ".

" So I see. Carry on then. But please, keep the noise down, it's not necessary to be so loud in the bathroom ".

" Yes ma'am " the young men said unison.

The hall monitor left and the boys sighed, relieved. Jimmy looked at Kyle and said

" I just saved your ass from the head mistress's 'special treatment ' ".

He left the bathroom shortly there after and Gary followed suit. Simon trailed behind, mummering

" Do I really resemble Shirley Temple ? ".

**I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm not writing anymore tonight. And yes, Simon does look like a male ****Shirley Temple. – XX-THIRST**


	12. Chp11 Nights Out

This is your NEW school

**All characters mentioned in this(except ones that I made up)belong to Rockstar Games. I do not make** **money off of this.**

**Contains slightly worse language than in the game and sexuality. – XX-THIRST**

Chapter 11: Nights Out

Gwen sat at her desk, pulling on a pair of mustard yellow socks, adding to an already hideous outfit consisting of a mahogany sweater and an olive green pencil skirt. She then slipped on maroon loafers. Her metal head roommate , Rosa Soto, noticed the girl getting dolled up ( so to speak ) .

" What are you dressing all up for ? ".

" I... well... I have a date ".

Rosa immediately ceased strumming on her guitar, almost snapping a string.

" You're kidding. I don't mean to sound rude, but really ? With who ? ".

" It's a secret ".

" Oh shucks. That bad or that amazing ? Ew, it's not Leo , is it ? ".

" No. It's someone... unique... ".

" Unique as in sub-par ? ".

" No ".

" That new kid, Jerry Hopkins or whatever his name is ? ".

" No, Rosa. I mean, he's not the worst, but... oh, what can I say. I'm more attracted to brains than brawn ".

" Don't tell me it's that weird Gary Smith guy he hangs out with ".

" No way. There's obviously something wrong with him ".

" Then who is it ? ".

Gwen gave her a sly smile. " Like I said, it's a secret " . She said no more on the matter as she pulled the Sling Shot 3000 out from underneath her pillow and a portable telescope from underneath the bed. Admittedly, it felt positively delicious to have a secret like this all to herself. The night Simon had made his offer, once she had returned to her dorm room, the urge to squeal into her bed pillow had been overwhelming. And the urge was there now too. But she prided herself on being mature . As she left the dorms for her date ( very thought of it almost made her giddy ) , Gwen happily bounced along the way, if not clumsily like.

* * *

" Shit ,Simon. You're going in your school uniform ? " chided Gary.

" I've never been on an outing like this. How would I know what to wear ? ".

" What are you, some kind of idiot ? ".

Jimmy pulled Simon towards him . " Quit it, Gary. Now Simon, don't you have any other clothes ".

" I don't suppose I can go out in my pajamas... ".

" You have NO other clothes ? ".

" I'm not one for a having large wardrobe ".

" Ugh, come on, maybe we can find you something at one of the campus stores ".

Simon was dragged to a clothing shop in one of court yards. He was completely stumped as to what to wear on a date, so Jimmy had to pick out clothes for , being his usual 'helpful' self, kept offering suggestions from the girls' clothing section.

" Oh ,won't this just bring out your purty green eyes ? " he said, holding up a yellow shirt with a floral design and a lacy collar.

" How daft do you think I am ? I know very well that's a girl's shirt ".

" Your voice is high enough, no one's going to know the difference ".

Gary was shoved out of the way by Jimmy , who held a light green dress shirt and slate grey slacks in his arms.

" Here. I think they're your size ".

While Simon changed, Jimmy noticed Gary had wandered over to the hair care rack. He was using a hair brush as a microphone, singing along ( off-key ) to the song playing on the radio.

_' Better that he's just goofing around rather than burning the store down or something. Shit, I hate __having to babysit him '._

Emerging from the changing stall , Simon walked over to Jimmy and Gary. They offered their opinions.

" You look fine to me ".

" Not bad, considering Hopkins picked those out ".

" Really ? That's ace! ".

" Knock it off with the dork talk ".

" It's not dork talk! I'll have you know-".

" Enough guys! " interrupted Jimmy. " Simon, you need one more thing. A gift. Girls like it if you bring them stuff ".

" But whatever shall I buy for Gwen ? ".

" Acne cream ? A paper sack? Ooh! A certificate for one free plastic surgery! " Gary interjected. His comments were ignored as the two other boys continued their conversation.

" She's one of those nerdy chicks, so I guess flowers, jewelry and chocolate are out of the question ".

" Wasn't her diary muddied up by that Lionel fellow ? We could always buy her a new one ".

" Great idea ".

" Golly good! By the way, who's paying for all these things ? ".

They both turned and stared at Gary. He shrugged and sneered " What are you looking at ? I don't have any damn money ".

* * *

**6:25 pm**. Simon was en route to the park. He had eventually paid for the clothes and the diary ( from another campus store ) with his own pocket money. Hopping off the bus, he felt slightly nervous. Really. A date ? He never would've imagined himself doing such a thing. Romance of any sort had never crossed his mind. Innocence ? Naivety ? Perhaps he hadn't hit puberty yet. Whatever the reason, he hoped the other boys' dating advice was sound.

" Focus on her good qualities. Like... uh... her personality. But don't word it like that. She'll know that you're trying to avoid talking about her ugly looks " Jimmy had advised. Gary also contributed some tips of his own.

" Talk about nothing but yourself. And push her into a mud puddle if you can. Girls like being harassed. Let's them know who wears the pants ".

" Don't listen to Don Juan over there who hasn't had a girlfriend in almost four years ".

He spotted Gwen just ahead, waiting in the park entry way. He clutched the diary tight, now more nervous. He squeakily greeted her, coughed, then repeated his greeting in his normal voice.

" E-evening Gwen. Here you are, this is for you " he said, handing her the diary.

" You... you bought this for me ? Aw, that's so sweet ".

" Well Jimmy said to... oh, never mind " . They both stared at each other in awkward silence, neither knowing what to do or say.

" Uh... right, should we be along now on our... date ? " Simon finally uttered, motioning towards the park.

" Oh , of course ".

The pair walked quietly through the park, along a stone path, both holding their breath in fear of saying something stupid. After some time, Gwen began to discuss the sixteen different tree species ( and each of their biological evolutions ) present in Brat-Hog Ville. Simon nodded out of politeness every now and then, most of the information going completely over his head. She noticed this and ceased with the topic.

She then took her telescope from her backpack and lead Simon over to a little hill to stargaze from. As she set up the device, he admitted that he wasn't familiar with most of constellations, but wouldn't mind if she taught him because, after all, she was very well read. She blushed at the complement and giggled. A giggle in her duck like voice sounded about as nice as food poisoning, but it made Simon feel more at ease. Maybe he wasn't so bad at this romance business after all. While Simon looked through the telescope, Gwen did her best to explain the Autumn constellations in layman's terms. He may not have been her type by any means ( she would've preferred a young Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking ), but at least Simon was a pleasant boy to be around. It had been a long time since she'd been around someone who didn't bring up her acne or buck teeth in conversation.

_' I guess it couldn't hurt to know a little more about him '. _

" Simon … may I ask what part of England you're from ? ".

" Why I'm from upper London ".

" Really now ? Please don't take offense, but your accent is a bit odd for being London born ".

" No offense taken at all. While I was born and raised in London, my parents were from Chobham ".

" That explains it ".

" How could you tell ? ".

" I've been to London a few times to visit relatives ".

" Have you ever been to ' The Royal Bucket ' along Harvey Road? They serve the best fish and chips there! ".

" Indeed I have! But I thought it closed down ".

" What ? I didn't hear anything about that. But I haven't been home in over a month... ".

" Why did your parents send you here to the United States anyway ? I would think there would be far better private schools there. I'm sure you know of the

Phlegmbliss prep school ".

" Ah yes, I know of it, my father graduated from there. I would've attended as well, but my parents felt that some education abroad would be a good experience

for me ".

"Are you in the country all by yourself ? ".

" Not exactly. My uncle lives here in Brat-Hog Ville, so at least I know one person. He's a bit difficult to get a hold of though " .

" I bet he's happy to have his nephew close by ".

" He is. But - ".

" Ack! Look at the time! " Gwen gasped, looking at her wrist watch. **8:32 pm** it read. " I have to study for a history test tomorrow , I should really be on my

way ".

" Not a problem at all! I don't want to take away from your study time ".

" Oh Simon, you're so nice ". She leaned down towards him, but he turned away, oblivious to her romantic intentions.

" My, it's certainly a warm evening for September, but it's nice though. I think I'll explore about town for a bit, I haven't looked around Brat-Hog Ville once since

I've arrived ".

" Hmm ? Oh, that sounds good ". She did her best to hide the slight disappointment in her voice. " I would suggest visiting the town library, they have an

excellent selection of astronomy books should you want to learn more about star gazing ".

She continued suggesting other locations after Simon offered to escort to her to the bus stop . All her attempts at flirting went unnoticed by him. Once there, he waved goodbye as he left .

She sighed, thinking to herself _' Whew! That wasn't so bad. At least we had something in common. I __still perfer a young Einstein though. Simon resembles a_

_ male Shirley Temple far too much for my taste and isn't anywhere near __my I.Q level. Oh goodness, that was worded wrong, I don't want to sound arrogant '._

* * *

Simon skipped along the pavement, humming a merry tune to himself. It had been an interesting experience. He doubted that Gwen would ever ask him on another date since he didn't really meet her fancy. But at least the whole affair hadn't been a disaster. They had both enjoyed themselves and that was what mattered, right ? Having not paid attention to where he was going, he now found himself in a less then safe looking part of town. He tried to retrace his steps, but became even more lost. He eventually sat down on the steps of an old, abandoned looking warehouse. Looking up at the crumbling red brick building, he had the oddest feeling that this place looked familiar. He must've seen a building like this back home. Yes. That had to be it.

* * *

**Done for now. Time for bed. That was a simple and sweet date, if not mildly awkward. I'm not one for ****writing romance. **

**- XX-THIRST**


End file.
